The period immediately after a spanking is important, especially in that it will set the tone for later on. Usually, a wife’s response is in becoming peaceful, and in being quick to show her submissiveness. Some couples grow closer for a time after a spanking. However, even a wife who knows she needs to be spanked at times, can react in the wrong way to a spanking, often harboring negative feelings quietly, or expressing them more boldly. These wrong reactions can be avoided, and be done away with completely, by learning to deal with them, both by husband and wife.
A wife may feel bitter towards her husband, because of her ego. She did not like having to apologize, and she did not like having to admit her wrong. She may mouth that she is sorry, but she hates having to say it, and she is angry at her man for correcting her. She may also react against the pain of a spanking, especially in the days afterward, if her bottom is still sore, as she is still paying the price. She may be resentful that her husband made her feel that way, and blame him for making her day more difficult. She starts to shift blame to him, instead of taking full responsibility herself. She may start viewing herself as wronged, and stop looking at the good lesson she has been taught. Any gratitude for her husband’s hard work has gone away, and been replaced with bitterness.
While this is a childish reaction to getting spanked, it is not so rare. It can be a trial being spanked, especially when it leaves one sore later on. It can bruise the ego. Both man and wife need to be prepared to confront this possible problem if it appears. They need to be able to recognize it, and nip it in the bud, before it creates more problems.
One point that will help bring a woman back on the path, is taking full responsibility for her actions. She may think she has, but she is beginning to push it off herself. She may be finding ways to minimize her wrong, or to place the blame on someone else. She needs to know that her punishment was earned by her own behavior. It’s not the fault of her husband. It’s her just deserts. If she has to remember what she did to get in trouble, no matter how shameful, then she should remember, and know that her choice brought her to those negative results. No one else did that. Her backside is burning because of no one else but the woman in the mirror.
A woman may start to feel anger at her husband for leaving her bottom sore, and start presenting it as an injustice. But that feeling needs to be replaced with anger at her own wrong. She needs to think about her own sin and hate it. That’s where the problem actually lies. She should be angry that she chose to do poorly, even when she knew better, and let that knowledge commit her to different behavior. That anger is not there to make her feel down on herself, but to recognize her bad actions, turn away from them, and choose to do differently. Every time she feels sore sitting down, she can be thinking about how she will handle it better next time. If it has been her mouth that got her in trouble, she should be thinking about how she speaks next time. If it was her negligence that got her in trouble, she should be thinking of how she will fulfill her responsibilities. That pain should also help her anticipate, and stay away from wrong choices in the future. When she sees the possibility of those poor choices arise, she’s got to know there is pain in making them, and remember to hold back.
Remember, the pain you feel, which may be for a few minutes as you are spanked, or for a few days of soreness, is small compared to the pain and harm that can be caused by breaking the rules. The pain on your behind is pain you could have causes yourself and others through your actions. You have the opportunity to feel it for a short period of time, so others don’t have to feel much worse for longer. It is a taste of sin, which is there to remind you, and is your friend when you humbly accept it. Think about the lesson of the spanking also, and that will help see the point of the pain. Keep your eyes on your goal. It is not mindless pain, but the healing kind of pain, which you can be certain will be over before long. That lesson is a valuable treasure you should be thinking about.
Pain can be an excellent motivator. I advise wives to let the pain of a spanking motivate them. They will lose out on some of the benefits of correction if they are resenting it in their hearts. Let it feed and direct them. Understanding how that trial helps guide you will make sure you do not feel bitter towards your husbands. Any feeling like that needs to be replaced with gratefulness for what he has given you. He has given you a much better path than you chose, and he’s taken you out of danger. He’s helped you in doing your work correctly. Those things are all out of love, and will serve you, so you ought to be able to feel grateful and to express gratitude, despite any tears that come with correction. No woman is so big that she cannot be humbled sometimes.
A husband should also know to recognize and rebuke bad attitudes following a spanking. He needs to make sure his wife takes responsibility for her actions, and knows that what she has earned are the fruits of her own behavior. He needs to respond to any bad attitude or complaining following a spanking, with a clear verbal correction. He needs to remind his wife that the only one to blame for her sore behind is herself. She should be angry at her wrong, and not at her husband. If his wife is brazenly rejecting the lesson he has given her, especially if she is continuing with disrespect, a husband should consider if a second and harder spanking is called for. It’s always possible, if it wasn’t thorough enough, that her spanking did not leave her fully submissive, and she consequently needs to spend more time over the knee. A husband should also make sure that he has a good period of restoration immediately following a spanking. This period does not just make sure a wife is committed to better behavior and is sorry for her wrong, but also allows the husband to express his love to his wife, and to reconnect with her affectionately. Take time to express both your love and your confidence in your wife. Let her know you believe in her, and love what she does each day. You are confident she will make you very happy in the future.
A wife’s reaction to her punishment is what instills the benefit into her. It is her sincere acceptance, and humble willingness to learn which help transform her the most. To reject learning is a foolish and hard-hearted thing. It will make more trouble in the future. A man should guide his wife in being soft, and in embracing the lesson which comes with correction. It could be to speak with more respect, to stop procrastinating, or to follow her diet, but it is always for her good. If she learns it, there will be fewer spankings she has to experience. She should know he does what he does with care and concern for her. But she may not make excuses or shift the blame. She will be transformed through the lesson to a woman more greatly serving her husband.
NOTE:
The topic has briefly come up in the comments before about the movie “Shiny Happy People,” and the negative way it presents Bible believing Christians and homeschoolers, along with its accusations against Bill Gothard and IBLP. It can fairly be called a hit piece.
I would recommend anyone look at the new response movie: “Shiny Slander,” which is still in the making. A woman has done a series of videos related to the movie on Youtube which respond to the many lies and misrepresentations present in the film, and given by those who appear in it. She has obviously done a great deal of research. Her videos do a good job of setting the record straight. You can also look at the support page for “Shiny Slander.“
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.