The Options for Single Women Wanting Discipline

A woman soon to be married has a life of following her loving husband coming up, and will receive his guidance and his correction. However, for a woman who has been unable to find a husband, or who finds herself widowed, that kind of leadership is usually lacking in our society, and many women crave it. They consider perhaps going to a “dom” to be able to have rules and discipline in their lives. Others try using a discipline system on themselves, albeit as a reluctant choice. What are the options in such a situation, and which ones are good options? I’d like to explore that topic today.

Firstly, I need to say, this situation does not need to be as common as it is. If more couples were marrying, and they did not wait too long to marry, women would be under the headship they need. Their craving for a man’s power, and for his correction would be soon fulfilled. The great number of women without such a head is in large part a result of the culture. This should change. Women should seek out marriage early. They should not waste many years with extra education, career, and lifestyle immorality. Plan for marriage early, and you will have your head.

However, considering that she often does have years without a husband, for whatever reason, she may consider differing ways to acquire the leadership and correction she needs. This is a basic human need, and women especially want to submit, and to be humbled, finding the experience very attractive. It fulfills a longing in the soul. The options are out there apart from marriage, but not all of them are good, safe options. Let me bring up several of them.

Self-Punishment: A woman may consider designing a system of rules, and when she breaks them, punish herself. This strategy requires the self-discipline to actually go through with it, and the courage to give oneself what could be a very undesirable punishment. Some will self-spank when they break the rules, despite the challenge of delivering pain to yourself, or even invest in “spanking machines,” although their quality and effectiveness looks doubtful to me. Modern discipline apps like Obedience, which I’ve written on, give the user an easy handle on remembering the rules, and when a punishment or reward is deserved. Self-punishment does have its limitations though. It is difficult for the mind to play both role of head and helper, and punishing yourself does not bring the same humbling as being punished by a man does, nor does it instill that sense of submission. There is no “other” to submit to. It will never do the job all the way, kind of like trying to tickle yourself. Self-punishment may do some good though, and despite its limitations, I am not against it. 

Growth as a Woman: What I frequently tell women who are married, but whose husbands will not discipline them or are too soft, is that they should work on their growth as a woman of God by themselves. Even without clear leadership and discipline that is possible. The same goes for single women who have no head over them. They can nurture their femininity and submission. They can practice respectful speech, and start showing men honor with their words. They can learn to be a helper to others. They can learn to meekly apologize. They can work on ridding themselves of bad habits. They can develop a gentle tone of voice. Over time, this will definitely prepare women for marriage, so they’ll have a head start, and their future husband will be impressed with their wonderful attitude. It is the nurture of the gentle and quiet spirit within them. When they slip up and do wrong, they should immediately confess their sin to God and ask forgiveness. If they wronged another person, they should confess personally to him, and ask forgiveness. They may not have a man formally as their head, but God is their head. They always have a loving Father over them, whom they can turn to, speak to, and obey. As they learn to obey His will for them, that will help them obey their husband, when they come to such a joyful occasion. 

The Father as Head: In an older culture, and in some parts of the world today, a young woman would stay under her father’s headship until she got married. That would mean she had a man setting the rules for her, and holding her accountable for years before marriage. Naturally, he could use spanking to punish her too, although some families believe in ending spanking sometime in young adulthood. Even if he chose to phase out spanking eventually, he could correct her with other forms of discipline. This wouldn’t work for most widowed women though, since in those instances her father would likely have passed away, or be too old to manage her diligently. Many women have grown up independent from their parents once they reached a certain age. However, there is nothing stopping a woman from telling her father that she accepts his headship, and then choose to come back under his authority, assuming she is still unmarried. Some fathers would be surprised and honored to have her back. A father’s leadership would solve a lot of problems, and make women more manageable. 

Church Help: Even in this secular culture, you can find the occasional church which accepts the use of spanking on adults. In such a case, though it may require some courage, a woman could ask to be held accountable by the pastor, or other leaders within the church. She could express her need for guidance, explain her behavioral problems and weaknesses, and ask to be punished as a part of correction. Correction, as with a husband, would involve more than a mere spanking, but also instruction and loving restoration. One disadvantage of this approach, when one finds a pastor who will accommodate, is that the intimacy of spanking is simply inappropriate for a man to do with a woman who is not his wife. This problem may be overcome in two ways. One, a pastor may have another woman present during the correction to watch it, and deliver the spanking above the offender’s clothing. Two, he may oversee the spanking, but have it actually delivered by a lady in the church, perhaps his own wife. I believe many women would respond to this kind of correction, especially since it comes from an honored figure, and one who gives her loving spiritual guidance. It’s normal to feel like a son or daughter to a pastor. It should only be remembered that most pastors are extremely busy with all their responsibilities. That means that delivering discipline would only be for the more severe bad behavior. Very close personal management would have to be done some other way. 

I have to add, I do not recommend single women go to a “dom,” although I know that is the option some women choose. A dom is an invented role, not found normally in society, or among biblical heads. It is fabricated authority, apart from any structured or long-term role. The dom, not being married to her, does not have a right to be so intimate with her. Discipline by doms in most instances is very erotic, and frequently includes sex acts. It almost universally involves nudity. Discipline is also a practice which requires much trust, and this is much harder to find in a person who is essentially an acquaintance, than it is in the lifelong bond of marriage. In fact, many doms would have multiple subs, and would be dividing time and attention between them. I have heard from women who had poor experiences looking for such an artificial supplier of discipline, as often their behavior is focused on mere punishment and on sex. It is not focused on a loving relationship. It does not reflect care for their soul. That is in part why it is best to find discipline in marriage, since then it comes united with a lifelong bond of love, in which both man and woman deeply know and trust one another. Some doms also get into extremely sadistic punishments, which most women who desire to be punished for bad behavior would never want to experience. I have to add, if a woman decides to go this route anyway, the safest way is to seek another woman to do it, and make sure it will be non-sexual.

The long-term solution, of course, is to allow legitimate authorities to use corporal punishment more often than we do, and to respect the headship of the father in the family. All of this would assure that when an adult woman needed discipline she could get it, whether from her father, school teacher, pastor, or coach. Eventually she would get married and receive it from her husband, in what I believe is the ideal form. While it’s not the topic of this article, that form of punishment can also be legitimately used on men, if it is coming from the right authority. It would help behavioral problems either way, and also fulfill the soul, every one of which needs loving authority over it. There is a tendency among women to feel kind of jealous knowing that they are missing out on the attractive attention that other women are receiving. This is true of spanking as well. I can only encourage such women to look for a husband, and trust in God until then. 

May you have a blessed Christmas season.


Comments

27 responses to “The Options for Single Women Wanting Discipline”

  1. Thank you sir! I believe many single woman like myself crave accountability/loving correction. I’ll be 26 in a few days and unfortunately have yet to meet my loving headship. Although I lost my father when I was very young, mother remarried shortly afterwards to the new head of our family. Like in society there were rules and consequences for breaking them. I learned much needed respect and obedience. However, I lost some of that while off at college. I yearned for that accountability/loving correction. I tried self punishment, … when I spoke without thinking, there was a bar of soap, corner time. When I overly exercised my independence, there was a wooden ruler and again the corner to think. But as Aron said this is much less humbling nor instills submission. I wasn’t attending church but working on my own I tried but miserably failed over and over on improving myself (attitude, presentation, speech, tone, etc.) It wasn’t until moving back home did I once again feel that sense of loving headship. However, at my age I should be married with children. I’m truly envious of woman who found their loving husband who will give them the attention I so need and crave. Society has wronged us and we need to go back to old fashioned values and traditions. There’s nothing wrong with a school teacher administering the board of education and sending home a note. Hearing your mother say just wait till your father gets home. Sitting uncomfortably at the dinner table. Father’s early Saturday morning visit to your bedroom with implement in hand. Your coach (whether its piano, tennis, ballet, etc.) teaching you it’s not ok to come to your lesson unprepared and be given a lesson to remember. One for the music books as my piano teacher would say. Many of times it wasn’t fun siting on the piano bench. Not to mention misbehaving in front of others or on vacation. Society needs to get back on track. We need to be properly prepared for married life. To love, honor and respect our husband. Yearning for his leadership and yes, his guidance/correction. Thanks Aaron for your words of wisdom.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      That’s a good description of the options for discipline. Thank you.

    2. StrictAndFair Avatar
      StrictAndFair

      I am sad that you haven’t found, Mr. Right. During my dating experiences, I was surprised and frightened by the number of women who didn’t know they had a strong need to be married. I agree with Aaron, there is a need for society to encourage young women to be marrried and stress thier need for it. Another part of that is to assit in young couples being started. To that end, this blog has a post called ‘The place for singles’ written in April of 2021. I would encourage you to find that article and see if a man that is perphaps suitible for you has posted. It is interesting you had the instinct to self punish yourself for failings. I think societies acceptance of young women leaving home without being married needs to be re-examined and rethought.

      If young women were continued to be subject to spankings after leaving home, that would be a significant improvememt for thier safety and stability. I appreciate Aaron’s suggestions of having a woman being present or giving the spanking to an unmarried woman out of the home. I also think having a masiculine authority figure give the lecture to the young woman would be key.
      Jenny, do you think of those ideas would be helpful for you?

      1. Thank you Sir! Happy New Year! StrictAndFair, can’t ask for more! That would describe my step father too. I have seen the list for singles and have, albeit much later, posted myself (April of this year.) Yes, I strongly believe us girls need to be subject to spankings. If nothing else, as you so eloquently put it, for our own safety and stability. Goes without saying the need for a masculine authoritative man providing an appropriate lecture. I don’t enjoy being spanked… not sure who would! It HURTS in the moment and long afterwards!! But I know at times it’s what’s needed Thank you again for taking the time to respond to my commentary. Happy New Year to all and to all a good night.

        P.S. Sir Aron, I know you’re not a dating service but perhaps you can refresh the singles post. Thank you Sir! HNY!!

        [edited by Aron for content]

        1. StrictAndFair Avatar
          StrictAndFair

          I am very thankful to be married and no longer in the dating market. It was a hard and demoralizing experience.

          When looking for a spouse for a marraige that will include domestic discipline, it can be hard to ask your friends and family for help in finding someone. How do you tell them what you are looking for. One way a woman can describe to what she is looking for to friends and family. Is to say you are looking for a man to assit in his mission. Or someone has demonstrated leadership in the past. Once you are introducted you would have to find a way to bring up the subject to the man. There is something to be said for being about being blatant. “When I am a wife and if I did – blank -, then I would want my husband to spank me. No, tolerance for that.” After that hint, later in uour relationship you would have to follow it up by saying that are looking for a husband to lead you and when you fail you would like to be held accountable through spanking.

          The other way to find someone is through online dating services. I struggled painfully through this process for years. Ultimily marrying internationaly to find a woman from more heathy culture. There is a service called https://dominiondating.com/
          I was married before it was started so I haven’t used it, but perphaps that is a place where people seeking in the direction of husband leadership could be grouped.

          There is also a Catholic match making serive run by Tomothy Gorden and his wife.

          If a woman is seeking a husband who will lead her on a dating site I would be willing to review the woman’s dating profile. Having someone review your profile looking at through the perspective of those you are seeking is very benefical. You may email me at Benat92 gmail.com

          1. Sir, as I was looking through comments .. If I may, respectfully, have you relook at your email address.

          2. StrictAndFair Avatar
            StrictAndFair

            I left out the @ symbol between the 2 and the gmail.com. 🙂 I did this so website scrapers and spammers wouldn’t target my email. If you add the @ symbol back into the email address it should work.

    3. Sweet Jenny! Your heart is pure, and your desire to obey will be a jewel in your future husband’s crown. As an adult woman, you need a man to lead you in marriage, and I pray that you find him soon. Maybe at one point in the past, a soccer coach or a piano teacher could have helped to keep you on the straight and narrow with a paddle kept handy for that purpose (if we lived in such a world), but now you have a grown woman’s body and the complex desires that come with it. Your heart is ready for marriage now, and your bottom will adjust quickly enough. A stern lecture from a male authority figure (your stepfather or maybe a pastor) would be wonderfully helpful when called for, I’m sure, but a spanking, should they be willing, might distract you from your goals. Make some posts on the sites suggested and pray for God to send you a proper husband!

      1. Thank you Sophia!

    4. Breezy89 Avatar
      Breezy89

      I have a friend/mentor who helps us as women in our role and responsibilities as girls,women,wives and teaches the biblical discipline on it. He is great at what he does and holds you accountable for what God and male authorities expect us to be. I’m just not very good at explaining it on here but I can try my best.

  2. This is why a church community can be so important. Last year a woman nineteen years old (now twenty) joined our church. She came from a secular background but decided to become Christian and we have welcomed her into our church. She’s a pretty and meek girl so she has gotten some attention from the single men in our church. It’s the custom in our church culture that dates are chaperoned until marriage. Since this woman’s parents aren’t interested in that sort of thing, church members have stepped up to chaperone her dates. My husband and I have done it twice with a young man twenty seven years old who will likely become her husband. I have taken this young lady aside and spoken to her of the Godliness of submission and my husband has spoken with the man about the Godliness of leadership. Praise Jesus they have been receptive to it. Aron, I think I will recommend your site to this young woman in hopes it can lead her toward Godly fulfillment.

    I know this isn’t the same thing as this young lady receiving discipline. If she felt the need for discipline I would not feel comfortable with my husband providing it. However I would feel comfortable with my husband overseeing her fiance (If they do get engaged) disciplining her overtop her clothing. It’s a pity that she doesn’t have a father who is Godly to lead her in that way. Her parents are in our prayers that they will come to church with their daughter and and convert as she did.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      I’m very glad your church community takes courtship and marriage so seriously. Having chaperones is the right thing to do, and especially protects the women. Discipline definitely ought to be discussed before marriage, and the future husband ought to have a good idea how to handle correcting his wife. I hope the young lady continues to grow in her faith.

    2. That’s great DarcyNH! May I ask where the church is located? I wish all churches would do something similar. Have a blessed, happy New Year! Jenny

      1. Blessings to you, Jenny. We are located in semi-rural Virginia. I should note that these aren’t church requirements, but it’s more the culture that has built up among many of our church members, my family included. There are people in our church community who will date without chaperones. The church has no official rules on it, and families make their own choices. We just happen to have a great many for whom wifely submission and chaperoned dates are the norm.

        1. Hi and thank you DarcyNH. As Aron knows I’ll keep this simple. I love the traditional idea of dates being chaperoned until marriage. This should be readily available. We lived in AL, TN, KY but currently in WV. We haven’t found the right church in WV for wifely submission. Willingly accepting the consequences for wrongdoings and prayers of forgiveness would be following the good Book. Oh, and writing biblical versus until your hand almost fall off. Jenny

  3. In the USA I think most pastors and churches would not want to get involved with physical discipline of a congregant. Over the last few years there have been many scandals involving church leaders who have had inappropriate relationships with a congregant, and these scandals have made people very concerned about propriety (and on one hand, that’s probably a good thing as leadership of many churches needs to be more concerned about walking in holiness.)

    However, the world won’t distinguish between a pastor and his wife who abuse their power over a young single woman, and a woman looking to a pastor and his wife for some sort of behavior modification help. There could be in some sense a consideration of the “appearance of evil” because of this.

    In addition, there are many states that have created laws now specifically targeting church leaders who are deemed to be abusive, especially in any sort of sexually exploitative way, towards a congregant. And the world would mostly view spanking as something “sexual” or “abusive.”

    These states have put specific laws in place creating hard punitive measurements towards clergy abuse specifically, in some cases making it a criminal act for there to be sexual interaction between clergy and congregants. Again, this doesn’t mean the church leader has to have sex with someone, but simply do something the court would view as abusive or exploitative of a sexualized nature :
    Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, Washington DC, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Mexico, North Dakota, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Wisconsin, and there are groups working to make sure that these laws eventually get created in all 50 states.

    In most cases, church leaders who are walking in purity and holiness would not run up against these laws and it is a sad indictment on the modern church that so much abuse has happened that states needed to make such laws at all. But many leaders may be wary to step into any sort of physical disciplinary role or sanction it in their congregation as that could be looked at as something criminal in many places.

    When I was single, I craved discipline, but just as I had to place my sexual desires aside for the sake of chastity, mostly the same thing had to happen with my disciplinary desires. I considered going to a spanking party or getting a dom, but ultimately decided that for me these things would be immoral to share with someone I was not married to. I did learn to submit to God’s discipline (Hebrews 12), which is not usually as immediate or physical as what one gets in an Earthly marriage but still good training for one’s life, nonetheless.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you for your comment, Cresta. It is good to know what the current laws are, and make decisions accordingly. I do not think that necessarily means there is great risk of being charged with a crime. There are laws against rape as well, but people manage to have sex regularly despite the possibility of being wrongly charged with a crime. There are also laws against “abuse,” but adults still practice spanking, and they don’t get charged with anything. However, if there is an especially critical eye on pastors according to the law, other members of the church could manage discipline as well. It would simply be one adult correcting another.

      For a single woman, simply working on her own virtue and submission apart from discipline is probably the best choice, even if it does require a wait. Most will get married eventually. Remaining under her father’s authority is also a legitimate choice, and will include being disciplined when necessary. I appreciate your input.

    2. Sweet Cresta, I can relate! When I was single, my desire for discipline and the physical intimacy of marriage were completely intertwined. I had already made the vow to remain chaste for my husband, and I knew well enough the difficulties that presented – my own temptations that had to be avoided, as well as the signals I had to be careful not to send out on a date. But once I came to understand that my need for dominance was a glorious part of myself that my future husband would savor, suppressing that desire and leaving those needs unmet felt like a form of chastity that I didn’t really know how to handle. I read between the lines of any words from a date’s mouth, looking for little rules or possible commands that I might “obey” for him, but they just weren’t there. In my efforts to practice godly submission, femininity, and respect with the men in my community, I was play-acting at marital roles in a way that maybe I shouldn’t have. I really don’t know. I only know I was confused. I wonder now if I was teasing at the boundaries of headship in a way I never would have done with the boundaries of the bedroom. Once I committed my purity to God, I never would have sought to tempt a man with my body or my voice. I had been taught to handle men’s physical attractions with grace and piousness. But looking back, I was dangling my naked obedience right in front of their faces, and I was in danger of giving it away to the wrong man without the sanctity of marriage. I had a hunger that I hadn’t been taught to handle, because I lived in a society that refused to acknowledge its worth, let alone its presence. Luckily, there were no budding “Mr. Grays” in my town, looking for a lady to handcuff, and so my disciplinary chastity was enforced regardless of my own will power. The denial was every bit as difficult to endure as maintaining my virginity. While I’m very thankful for this, I do wish there had been a better support network of people I knew in real life who could speak from their own experiences.

      By the grace of God, the only man who picked up on my suggestive submission signaling was a Christian man who never would have twisted them into something unholy. At the time, he had no desire to discipline me, and he certainly never dreamed it would become a pillar of our marriage. He just knew that I was sweet and kind, that I listened to him carefully and asked for his advice. He knew that I loved the Lord and wanted a marriage in which the man was the unquestioned head. He knew I would seek to obey the man God joined me to in holy marriage. That was a novelty to him, but one that just felt right. Together, we developed a chaste, innocent version of submission and leadership, testing out what true headship would look like once we were wed. He ministered to me during our private Bible study sessions, and I looked for ways to show him my respect as well as my love. He shared his preferences and they became my rules. I asked his “permission” and then denied myself anything he disapproved of. His leadership lacked the blunt force of a husband’s commands, of course, but it wouldn’t have been holy for him to show me the real power of his word while we were engaged. He hadn’t yet discovered it himself. In that sense, he did have a type of virginity of his own to offer me. I’m the only woman he’s wed and the only one he’s spanked. He became a Christian husband through his claiming of me.

      When I confessed to him my hopes that I would someday be spanked, a lesser man might have used that as an excuse to lift my skirt right then and there. I wouldn’t have refused him, and I couldn’t have overpowered him in any case. But this man chose to keep his bride pure and unmarked. All of that would come later, in due time. I craved him on both fronts, but I was content to wait. As our love deepened, God worked to hone his leadership, steering him to be more direct with me and to accept without protest the ways I naturally sought to serve him. In the weeks before our wedding, he stressed the importance of obedience, and I received my first stern lecture, accepted as I knelt before him. The God-given roles we were growing into felt right, and every increase in his strength was met with corresponding submission and acceptance from me. Our roles were complementary, and we took great pleasure in our differences.

      It was never my place to say whether I would be spanked, and I wed my husband knowing that he was solely in control on that and all matters. It became clear to him in time that I require discipline, and as my husband, he serves all of my needs abundantly, with love. Praise God that my natural, feminine desires were finally met at the hands of my capable husband and not a lesser man who would have corrupted me. I feel compelled to share my story here to do whatever I can to help those women not yet claimed by a godly man. Cresta and I are among the lucky ones, but we cheer on the lovely ladies whose pure hearts have led them here. May God bless you and send you a husband soon!

  4. Aron, these are such helpful suggestions for young, single women with pure hearts who have not yet met the man God intends them to marry. My heart aches for them, because while they have found the courage to embrace their feminine need to be led by a man, they can’t yet experience the benefits of his leadership. It’s a special type of hunger, and a lonely one in our current society. I’m thankful that these women have your advice to rely on during this delicate and difficult time in their lives.

    When I was single, I really was not capable of self-discipline in any form, and maybe that was because I did not have that type of upbringing, but it did mean that both your first and third suggestions just weren’t accessible to me. I know I would have happily accepted the fourth suggestion of experiencing chaste, non-sexual discipline at the hands of a trusted male authority figure. Had I known a God-fearing man willing to provide me with such structured oversight, I’m sure I would have benefited from the public service, especially if I had been suffering from serious temptations or vices.

    Thankfully, I met my husband before I became too desperate or had the opportunity to explore other options which may have led me away from the light of God’s love. Looking back on those days from the warmth and security of holy marriage, I do wonder whether discipline from someone other than my husband would have stirred inappropriate feelings in my heart. Would I have developed a crush on this man or become too attached to him emotionally? It’s hard for me to separate physical discipline from the physical and emotional intimacy of marriage, and it seems to me now like a spanking without the rest would feel like a cruel tease. But we also live in a world that stigmatizes a woman’s need for discipline, so meeting a man who was willing to spank me may have caused me to be more preoccupied with him than if it were a normal practice, openly accessible to unmarried women, administered by respected men of authority within their church community. I don’t think this is very common, but I’m sure it’s a great help to the young ladies fortunate enough to take advantage of it.

    Aron’s second suggestion is really a beautiful option, accessible to any single woman, and also the one which worked best for me at that time in my life. Imagining my future husband, I tried to behave like the woman he would want to marry. I softened my hair, dress, and tone of voice to intentionally become more feminine. I practiced showing respect when speaking with any man in our church community, not just those in leadership positions, reminding myself that God intends all men to be leaders within their homes and families. I still struggled with issues of maturity, responsibility, and self-control, but I was presenting myself to the world as a woman willing to accept guidance and correction in those areas.

    I know in my heart that these changes were what turned my husband’s eye towards me. I accepted his invitation for coffee less out of attraction (he was a bit more “buttoned up” than I thought I wanted at the time) and more out of a desire to continue practicing my mission of respect. During our date, I listened more and asked more follow up questions than I normally would have, and it gave me the opportunity to see his quiet strength in a way I’d never noticed before. As we became closer, my soft deference encouraged a natural desire within him to protect and nurture me. Every time he offered me guidance, I showed him how eager I was to follow it. The more I leaned into godly womanhood, the more I was rewarded with the male leadership I craved. Not long after we were married, and by the grace of God, my husband expanded his oversight of me to include the physical discipline I so badly needed. Through his loving care, I am becoming the woman I am meant to be.

    If you are a young woman who desires discipline in your life, give thanks to God for opening your pure heart to this very natural and feminine need. Then follow Aron’s advice to marry as early as you can. Marriage is the best destination for a woman, and the younger you are, the easier it will be to learn from your husband and benefit from his teachings. Set yourself the goal in this new year of opening your eyes to the man God has already chosen to lead you. Finally, follow Aron’s suggestions to prepare yourself for wifely submission. Look for ways to become more feminine and respectful to the men in your community. Imagine the rules a husband might set for you and try to follow them. Even if the consequences you give yourself pale in comparison to those a properly motivated husband would provide, you are making yourself into fertile ground for him to seed. Your desire to be ruled over is a testament to God’s glory and will be a treasure to your future husband. Have faith in God’s plan for you!

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Sophie, Thank you for your detailed analysis, and for your encouragement to the other ladies. Before marriage it is indeed hard to find an option for discipline that will apply to you successfully. I’m glad you didn’t have to wait too long. It’s good you took the time to get to know your future husband, and could see what good masculine character he had.

      I know you put your heart into being a submissive wife and mother. Your husband must be very happy. The article I have coming up soon is by my wife, at long last, and will also have some advice to women about marriage.

      1. Thank you, Aron! My husband takes excellent care of me. I thank God every day that I was placed in his capable hands, and I seek to honor and please him with all that I do. I am so excited to read at long last the advice your sweet and loving wife has shared with us! Blessings to you both!

    2. StrictAndFair Avatar
      StrictAndFair

      I am very glad to hear that you have been successfully married, Sophia! That is a praise. I have remember reading your comments for a long time. I am glad you found a loving husband that disciplines you.

      1. Thank you, Strict and Fair! I make the time to comment here because I want to serve as evidence of the ways in which God has worked through Aron to strengthen marriages and bring like-minded couples together. As a single lady, he helped me channel my confusion into godly, womanly pursuits, which ultimately opened my eyes to the man who is now lord over me and the king of our home.

        I pray that all of the single women intrigued enough to come here will use Aron’s advice to find their Prince Charming – a man strong enough to meet all of their needs (not just the culturally acceptable ones). I serve God far better as a disciplined wife than I ever could have as the conflicted, unfulfilled, and inconsistent young woman that I was before marriage. My heart has always been in the right place, but I needed my husband’s guiding hand to become the woman God meant for me to be. I continue to need him today.

        It was very kind of you to offer to help Aron’s readers in their search for a husband. I would urge the lost ladies out there sign up for the unique dating services you recommended and to seek advice on their profiles if they’re uncertain of what to say. A man currently practicing Biblical headship would certainly know which words might best convey the purity of a truly submissive woman’s heart. (Little sisters, don’t be shy about posting comments here or on Aron’s post for singles – I don’t remember exactly what it’s called. There are so many in this community Aron has created who can offer you support and guidance in your search for the right kind of husband.)

        Blessings to you and your wife, Strict and Fair!

  5. I refuse to settle into a relationship without domestic discipline. I don’t know how to ask for it. I don’t know where to look for it. I’ll die alone before I settle for less.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Chatton, I appreciate your desire to have discipline in your marriage. It is a worthy goal. It’s not safe to assume you could not have a functioning and fulfilling marriage without spanking, but it truly helps, and I was completely set on it for my future marriage as well. The best I can recommend is simply to look for a traditional spouse, and then bring up the topic of discipline at an appropriate time. That’s what I did. However, there are also various singles sites which could work, and which focus on spanking.

      I have this one singles page on my website you may know about: https://www.spankingyourwife.com/2021/04/01/your-place-for-singles/

      I also have this short article on finding a discipline partner: https://www.spankingyourwife.com/2020/04/08/where-can-i-find-a-discipline-partner/

      Plus one on introducing it to your marriage: https://www.spankingyourwife.com/2020/04/08/how-to-introduce-spanking-in-your-marriage/

      I hope that helps, and that you are able to find a good spouse.

  6. On the issue of propriety, a woman delivering the spanking itself might be the best solution. I think the humiliation associated with undress is a key part of the punishment. If not nude, then she is disciplined in just her underwear, or fully clothed up top but bare below the waist. Again, for maintaining propriety, either the disciplinee herself or else the woman giving the punishment would be the one to remove the articles of clothing. The man in who is her designated authority would verbally lecture the single woman being punished, and direct her and the woman administering the punishment through the process.

    Perhaps, as you say, a society could come to recognize the legitimacy of corporal punishment, and the requisite male authorities could direct or even themselves administer the discipline. If it’s civil offenses, these punishments could even be public. Similar to how public flogging once existed. In addition to spanking, corner time or similar extended period of shameful discipline could be involved. The shame of being publicly bared, spanked, and perhaps left exposed for a time would be a deterrent, certainly. And for civil offenses, I don’t think that punishment would be restricted to women. Men would face such a punishment as well

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Joe, Thank you for the suggestions. Those are all good ideas. A female delivering the spanking with a man overseeing it is a sensible way to handle the matter. I agree completely that corporal punishment should be used as a civic punishment, as it was for long ages, and certainly that would include punishing male criminals. I have an article dealing with corporal punishment for men coming up in the future.

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