Spank Your Wife

My Wife Gives Advice on Submission in Marriage

—

by

aronhusband
in

At long last, I present you with an article by my beloved wife. It has taken her a while to write it, since she does not compose or write as quickly as I do. Readers have been asking to read something by her for years, and I am happy to oblige. Her article offers women some practical advice in living as submissive wives, which is based on the Bible and on her abundant experience. I have only made a few grammar corrections to the writing, but have otherwise left the text alone. I consider my wife to be a very good example to other women. She does womanhood the right way.

Journey of Walking as a Submissive Wife

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

–Ephesians 5:22

To those of you who are walking in the path of submission, struggling with the practice of submission or curious of the teaching of submission, no matter what stage you are at, I’d like to share my own experience of my growth in being a submissive wife and my own understanding of this teaching which is from the Word of God.

From holding my own will to surrender to God’s will

Like most of you, I grew up in the “I” culture and was encouraged to pursue my own desire. I used to be very self-centered, and determined I would not get married because I didn’t want to under anybody’s authority. Look, strangely deep down in my conscience I realized that once I get married, my husband will be the boss and I will have to be under his authority. This made me scared, and I didn’t want it. But when I found Jesus and He became the Lord of my life, everything changed.

Not until I came to Faith, did I realize that God put a conscience in mankind’s hearts for His Truth. After I became the follower of Christ, I was changed inside and out. I started to desire to be a wife and a mother. God also spoke to my heart that this is what He wants me to do. I let go of my old self and submitted to God’s Will. I believe God’s wonderful creation has order and good purpose. He made the man, Adam, first. Then Eve, who is out of Adam, and they became one flesh. Eve is the helper while Adam is the leader. 

At first, it shocked me when I found out this amazing design and order between husband and wife is exactly what I was scared of as an unbeliever. It proves that God put this conscience into everyone’s heart no matter how we view it. Something even more amazing happened: shortly after I came to Christ, I met my husband through studying the Word of God. I sought His Words and He brought me my future husband, who is a faithful servant of God and has passion to share the Gospel. And he also becomes the leader in our marriage.

The struggle of having right attitude

As a young believer and a young wife in our early marriage years, I struggled a lot. It seems much easier to obey God’s Words than my husband’s words, because obviously God is so Mighty and Powerful and Holy. God created me and gave me life, but my husband is just a born-again Christian like myself. Why I have to submit to what he said all the time? This attitude constantly appeared in my mind which hindered me from being submissive sometimes. 

However, with my husband’s guidance and encouragement, prayers and study the Word of God, I finally realized, or I can say that I was willing to realize, that I am actually disobeying God if I do not submit to my husband. It is God’s command to wives that we are to submit ourselves to our husbands.

Satan put lies in our hearts to confuse the role of a wife. That’s how I got stuck in, thinking husband and wife should be equal in all aspects. But in reality, no, the role of wife and husband are never meant to be the same. It’s the world, Satan wants us to believe and live in his lies. Even when I was an unbeliever, I could sense there’s something wrong if a wife is the boss of the marriage. But when we live in the world, we just want to flow with what the world adorns. Again, God put conscience in our hearts that husbands are heads of the marriage while wives are helpers to their husbands. Look back to human history, no matter in Christian society or non-Christian society, it’s a norm that husbands are leaders in the household and wives serve and nurture the home with a submissive attitude.

When I finally surrendered my own will to God’s Words, my attitude towards being a submissive wife changed. I’m much more willing to submit myself to my husband as unto God. I’m very honest to say that I’m not a perfect example; until this moment I still have to battle between my flesh and the spirit of being submissive. But with the understanding of God’s design in marriage, it’s easier for me to want to submit to my husband. Husband, wife, and children represent the Holy Trinity of God. The relationship between husband and wife represents the Father and the Son, Christ and the Church.

It struck me deeply when reading this Bible verse from Philippians 2:8 “Christ humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” Isn’t it to submit to my husband much easier? Christ already did the hardest part — He wants me to obey Him by submitting myself to my husband.

How to be submissive

When I have a right attitude toward submission, problems seem to be resolved much easier, our marriage is more peaceful, and our family is in harmony. I’d like to share some personal experiences about how a right attitude affects our marriage and family life. 

Be the helper not the boss

I have to remind myself from time to time that my position is a helper to my husband. Naturally, sometimes we are putting ourselves to the equal position with our husbands. In such case, there can be endless “fights” between husband and wife. Wives, never fight to be the boss in your marriage, or we are putting ourselves in a miserable situation. Women are not made as muscular, aggressive, strong as man physically and emotionally. Don’t be tempted by the world to compete with your husband.

In marriage, my husband and I are made ONE. It’s a beautiful union God design for us. God made husbands to lead, provide, protect and to be responsible for the family. We, as wives, are to help our husbands to accomplish their goals and nurture the family. Being a helper to my husband is an honorable job and rewarding. At the same time, this is a perfect position God put me in. When we follow God’s guidance, our yokes are much lighter. Home is a perfect place designed for a wife where she can use her gifted talents to care for, to raise children in, to make it a loving and peaceful place for the family to live in. Our husbands, the leader of the family and the fighter for the family, need our support. I’m happy to serve my husband good food, to meet his needs, to keep the house clean and comfortable, to teach our children in God’s way.     

Giving advice

As a wife and a helper, we give advice and suggestions, but let our husbands make decisions. Prayers are very important to me. We should always pray that the advice we give is wise. Also, pray for our husbands to make wise decisions.

Don’t get angry or being argumentative if our advice is not accepted — remember that we are not the leader. This is also what I’m still working on and the best way I found is to keep praying and hand the issues to the Lord. It is our husbands’ role to take responsibility for the family, not us.

The way to give advice also reflects our submissive attitude. I learned to suggest in a calm, gentle, and respectful way but not in commands or demands. Again, we’re not the boss.

Handling conflicts

As individuals, we are made differently. But in marriage, amazingly, husband and wife become one. God makes this oneness to glorify Him. We as wives have to learn to respect and submit to our husband’s will as long as it’s not against God’s will. When disagreement appears, explain calmly and just follow your husband’s decisions.

Pray often, even when you’re upset, don’t argue or yell at your husband. Let the gentle and quiet spirit to overcome our flesh and anger. Control our tongues when the husband is upset. Raising voices or fights will not help to solve problems but make them worse.

Be encouraging

When the husband takes on his role as the leader and fighter for the family, he will get discouraged or frustrated sometimes outside the home. He needs comfort, support, love, and respect from his wife, who is made to be the other half of him in marriage. As wife, I feel honor to be able to help my husband to meet his needs, cheer him up with encouraging words, show my admiration toward him. Last but not the least, pray for him constantly.

My secret to walk and grow as a submissive wife is following God’s Word. I’m blessed and happy to see our marriage and family are led by a husband who honor God and walks in God’s way. 

  You can find all my articles organized loosely by topic on my About page.

Subscribe
Contact

Comments

28 responses to “My Wife Gives Advice on Submission in Marriage”

  1. Raine Avatar
    Raine

    This was a well written and articulate article. I appreciate your wife’s insightful discussion on the role of a Christian wife. Unfortunately for me I felt it was lacking. She did a very good job at discussing the points of being a Christian wife. However I was surprise to see that there was a complete absence of any thing to do with the mindset, the struggles, or the joys of CDD or a spanking dynamic. Doing a quick google search one can find an abundance of articles and various recommendations, opinions, and key points to being a Christian wife, and the merits of following Gods command to be submissive. For myself, and I believe many others, there was a hope to hear her voice on the topics that you write about. I was particularly interested to hear her opinions, and understand better the thoughts, emotions, conflicts, and rewards your wife feels living as a wife who faces this unique type of marital leadership. I hope that she enjoyed this writing experience and may feel more comfortable writing a bit more from the woman’s perspective in the future.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Raine, Thanks for your thoughts. The purpose of the article was simply to express her own experience with submission, as well as give some advice to other ladies. I believe it met those basic goals and is very useful for that reason. There is, no doubt, much more to say. In the long run, my wife may address more specific areas of submission, but seeing as she does not write quickly, it would be some time into the future.

  2. Sally888 Avatar
    Sally888

    I was disappointed as well. From reading all your articles, spanking is a big part of her need to be a submissive wife and an intricate part of your dynamic. To have it not even mentioned was a real disappointment. Her insight into how she submits and struggles with that part of her marriage could have been very helpful to many of us.
    I assumed when you said she was going to write something that it would be about submission AND CDD.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Sally, I would not assume that anything I post by my wife would be about getting spanked. She has valuable insights about submission, so that is the topic I chose to ask her to write on. I realize that spanking has more appeal on one level, but it’s not everything. The daily walk is one in submission.

      1. Raine Avatar
        Raine

        I totally agree that ones walk in submission would be so much more then the spanking aspect. However there is also so much more to headship then spanking. The topic of discussion for this blog is CDD and spanking…hence the title Spank your Wife. So it seems a reasonable expectation that if someone was writing it would include to at least some degree a reference to spanking.

        I know you have stated she takes a long time to write but she is very eloquent in her writing. She would have a lot to offer if she wrote on the subject being discussed in this blog.

        1. aronhusband Avatar
          aronhusband

          It was not my goal to have my wife write about being spanked. The goal I gave her was to write about her experience in submission as well as offer advice. The blog is focused on discipline, but it also has a significant amount of material on headship and submission, and a lesser amount of material on other aspects of marriage, faith, and culture. I had her write on submission because that is something I find valuable, and I believe other women can benefit from hearing it. Likely if I have her write again, it would be on a more specific application of submission.

  3. Eliza Avatar
    Eliza

    First class article! Very well expressed and written. For me personally, this is a beautiful and inspiring testimony. It is a guide to all women – young and old – newly weds and “forever” weds. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you and your family!

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you, Eliza. I’m very glad you appreciate her writings. Bless you and your family.

  4. Jane Avatar
    Jane

    I thought this was a well written article about submission. One shouldn’t make the entirety of their marriage about spanking. As Aron has said before, spanking is a tool for husbands to correct their wives when they falter.

    Mrs. Aron, I struggle with a lot of things you wrote about. Especially about having the right attitude and the proper way to suggest advice to my husband. I pray the Lord may give me strength to put my flesh under subjection and do His will. The Lord Jesus suffered so that we can be reconciled to God, the least we can do is obey His word.
    Blessings to your family!

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you, Jane. I know you will do your best to have the right attitude to your husband. A soft and meek heart will put gentleness and respect into your words. Bless you.

  5. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    Aron please thank your wife from your lady readers, this was very inspiring! I might be misremembering, but I thought you’d mentioned that your wife came from a family with strong Biblical gender roles. So it’s heartening to know that even she struggled/struggles with the influences of modern feminism too.

    I hope it isn’t too presumptuous, but if the subject strikes you, I would greatly appreciate a blog post about regaining innocence. Like many of my generation (late 30s) and younger, my childhood innocence was cut short by unmonitored exposure to the internet. I think that our culture, as unwell and perverted as it is, robs most of us of our innocence. As a parent I’m as protective as I can be over my children regarding this exposure. But I can’t help but sometimes mourn the innocence I would have had if not for the internet. Over the past year or so I’ve taken a hard look at my life: at my reading material (I’m amazed that I went from Amish romance, years ago, to the _shockingly_ depraved mainstream romance celebrated among modern women readers), at my hobbies (how good of an influence were those sexy dance classes, even if it was just for the ‘benefit’ of my husband?), my vulgar language, my immodest clothing, etc. Thanks mostly to careful Bible study and your blog, I have become so much more obedient to my husband. He’s Christian but not an active one and completely influenced by modern culture. So he doesn’t understand how this is even a problem for me, let alone how to help me solve it. I desperately long to be discreet, chaste, and good. But I feel like I’ve been tainted by close study all of the sin found online for the better part of my life. Is there hope? For other women like me, who don’t have conservative guidance at home, maybe you could write about the possibility of regaining lost innocence, and pursuing chastity and discretion for the modern wife? Thank you so much for all your hard work. God please bless Aron’s family and cover them under Your wings.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Julie, I’m very glad you liked my wife’s article. She had a good upbringing, but it was not especially conservative compared to some. She did get a meek character from her youth, and respected the man’s headship in the home, which a good start.

      The best way to have purity in the home is with the husband’s leading and establishing the methods to accomplish it. If your husband needs transformation in that regard, it will take faith, and it would help to have godly men teach him. You can still provide a good example of purity yourself by the life you lead, the way you compose yourself, and your speech. If there are any poor media influences in your life, you can separate yourself from them. Your quiet example of holiness will be good for your husband, and provide a picture for him of all that is good.

      Then find positive influences for yourself, whether through godly music and writing, or through female companionship of women who follow God’s Word. A life filled with what is holy is less led astray by poor influences, and has far less time to waste on bad things.

      While I am not against all liturgical forms of dance, worldly dance is basically an excuse for openly sexualizing men and women, and for easy fornication. Very few men would be involved in worldly dance if it were not for the ease of meeting women to have sex with. I’m sure it has been the source of plenty of adultery as well. I do not recommend worldly dance for married couples, although in the privacy of the home between man and wife it is not wrong.

      Reclaiming innocence as you put it is a good idea for an article. I do have one already on how a husband should guard his wife from immodesty, but I could do one more broadly about purity in the home. I will make a note of your suggestion.

      May God bring greater holiness to your whole household. Bless you. Peace and strength in the Lord.

    2. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Julie, Regarding your suggestion, I just remembered I do have this one article on keeping the wife and the home environment free of bad influences. It may not be exactly what you are thinking of, but I believe it covers some of the same territory: https://www.spankingyourwife.com/2023/11/24/keeping-wife-and-home-free-of-negative-influences/

      1. Julie Avatar
        Julie

        That article is one of my favorites on your website (along with ‘Is Spanking a Childish Punishment?’). Most of your articles are written to men who are heads of households, but sometimes you give advice directly to women who want biblical submission in their marriages with more worldly husbands. I find those articles so helpful. I am specifically looking for more guidance on 1 Peter 3: “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” I have a hard time knowing what chaste conduct would look like for a modern wife. In our present culture, “innocence” and “chastity” are used almost exclusively for virgins. I think I have fully grasped what reverence and submissiveness entail in my marriage. But wifely chastity eludes me, and unfortunately it’s not something my husband can lead me in at this time. Thank you so much for your time and counsel.

        1. aronhusband Avatar
          aronhusband

          I’m very glad you like the article, Julie. I hope it’s been helpful to you. Being submissive is a challenge sometimes, especially if the husband is ungodly, as in the instructions of 1 Peter 3. One thing to know though is that you are not in control of everything, and sometimes you have to step back and let God do His work. You serve your husband and help him by your godly example. You cannot simply change him. Give that over to the Almighty. Continue to serve him despite his flaws.

          Chaste conduct can be understood in marriage, even though we think of chastity regarding virgins. It reflects the woman’s modest heart, her purity, her gentleness; she is not trying to attract attention to herself, and is meek. Even something like sexuality isn’t on open display all the time in marriage. A wife’s image towards her husband is wholesome and modest, except when the situation calls for intimacy. He can see in his wife purity and holiness at any time. A part of that is exemplified in the beauty the passage describes: that of a gentle and quiet spirit. That is the beauty that the husband will see in her. That is a place a woman can reach through peace of heart in Jesus, through humility, through service to her husband, filled with her kindness.

          Notice it said chaste conduct and “fear,” which we associate with the fear of God. The verse in Ephesians 5 which teaches, “see that she reverence her husband” is using the same word for “fear.” More literally that’s how it would be translated. The fear of God is a great sense awe of his power, and also characterized by a real fear if we should do evil. It shows that we look up to God. A wife is also to look up to her husband in a similar way because he is her head, and because of the power he has. A godly wife has both a deep fear of God, and also of her husband.

          The passage further gives some descriptions of what this chaste kind of beauty entails, and it is not one which draws from decor, hairstyles, attractive clothing, ornamentation, fashion. It rather comes from that simple and eternal beauty of the heart. Many women worry about outer beauty a great deal, and even are trained to do so from the time they are tiny. However, a woman’s beauty is not found in these things, and I believe it is best for a woman’s character that she be fairly plain and simple, without the cultural ornamentation she has learned, without the fancy hairstyles, fashionable clothes, or makeup. Just be presentable and decent, and the inner beauty shines through, and it is even highlighted in your simplicity. I realize that is a controversial statement to millions in this culture, but I am convinced it is the way of the Christian woman.

          I believe whatever challenges you have had in living that submission out can be overcome with grace. A woman who is giving of herself like Christ will learn a deeper submission, and will have a pure heart, and will be in prayer for these things. The woman is a great picture of goodness and life. This comes with her gentle humility in Christ.

          It’s my pleasure to be able to help in any way.

        2. aronhusband Avatar
          aronhusband

          I did want to add to my previous comment as it relates to a wife’s purity. While purity is usually associated with the non-sexual behavior, there is a way in which wife maintains that purity in bed. That is by giving of herself fully to her husband. This is heartfelt giving, out of love for her husband. Giving and love are spiritual desires, and not controlled by the flesh, even if they are manifested in it. I hope that gives you further insight in how you maintain this quality as a wife.

          1. Julie Avatar
            Julie

            It definitely does. I really appreciate you taking the time to write these replies! It’s very helpful for me, and I’m saving them to another document so I can refer back to them in the future. Your writing is such a light to the world.

    3. Sophia Avatar
      Sophia

      Sweet Julie, I’m so glad that God has brought you here and that you’re taking comfort in the guidance Aron provides to his many readers. I couldn’t agree more that his writing is “a light to the world.” What a beautiful way to express the holy purpose it surely serves!

      You and your husband will be in my prayers, but I believe that God is already working to open your man’s heart to a more traditional marriage and a more authentic relationship with his Creator. It can be hard to watch our men struggle to find the right way to live His Word and to lead their families as God intended, but only God can speak wisdom to him. Your role as his wife is to offer him your patience and love, trusting that he will find the right path in the end, by the grace of God. It took my own husband months of prayer and private reflection to come to the conclusion that his headship must be backed by marital discipline, and there wasn’t anything that I could have said to sway him. It would have been sinfully arrogant of me to attempt to insert myself between my husband and God’s truth. I could only share my opinion and then practice patience and prayer.

      You are already doing God’s work by removing unchaste influences from your life and seeking to obey your husband, even though he is not yet embracing Christianity as much as you might hope. Continue to strive towards the model of feminine submission. Talk to your husband about some of the changes you’re making and why. Maybe you’ve stopped reading trashy romance novels because you want to respect the sanctity of your marriage bed. Because you want to cleanse your mind and body so that it only knows his touch. Even reading about another man in a fictional story feels like a betrayal, because you only desire him. Because you belong to him and him alone. What man wouldn’t treasure your loyalty and want to help shield your eyes from that which might threaten your purity? You might even want to ask for his help in deciding whether a book or podcast is appropriate for you. Even if it doesn’t bother him, cover your own eyes if a TV show you’re watching together gets risqué. Blush and snuggle into him. Ask him whether a dress is appropriate for you to wear in public, or whether it might lead other men to have impure thoughts about his wife. Should you save this dress for him alone? Is there anything that you might do unknowingly that could make him jealous? Does he ever see other men’s wives say or do something he wouldn’t want you to say or do? Let him know that you want to avoid being alone with other men, even temporarily, in a social setting or at your job (if you work).

      I truly believe that leaning on our men for support and paying careful attention to the guidance they offer helps them to see the value of their leadership. It coaxes them to take a more active role in the oversight of their women. It makes them feel like men, and I promise you that however much your man has been led astray by modern culture, he wants you to look to him for protection. He wants to slay a dragon for you and then carry you to safety, trembling in his arms. Lean into submission. Ask his permission for even small indulgences, even if it hasn’t been a part of your marital practice before. Even if he mostly says yes. He’ll come to see your behavior, your daily activities, as things within his domain to weigh in on, as his call to make. He might even come to see the value in setting clear expectations for you so that you don’t have to ask his permission each time.

      I know nothing of your marriage, Julie, and you didn’t ask my advice, so I hope you’ll forgive me for butting my head in. It just sounds like you’re wanting more pointed leadership from your husband in some areas, and I think many women understand that feeling. It took my husband and I time to learn how to leave modern expectations of partnership behind and embrace the gender differences God created within us for our utter delight and pleasure. Embracing your femininity will bring out the real man in him. Prayers and blessings to you both!

  6. Confused Avatar
    Confused

    I thought it was a very sweet, and well written article. You can tell what kind of woman she is, by how she writes. It made me smile. I am thankful for both of you and the examples you are as Christians.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you. I am very honored. I will pass that along to her. Blessings.

    2. Eliza Avatar
      Eliza

      I absolutely agree with you, Confused.
      Bless you!

  7. Sophia Avatar
    Sophia

    Aron, it’s such a very special treat for me to hear your loving wife share her journey to submission and her advice for other wives! Thank you for allowing us this precious glimpse into her pure heart! Ever since I found your blog, I’ve wondered about her life, imagining what we might have in common and how she might handle the daily struggles of marriage and motherhood. I always knew she was a lady in the truest sense of the word, and her writing proves that. She is sweetly and humbly focused on serving both God and you, her husband, and in doing so she reminds us that domestic discipline is simply a means to an end and not the goal itself. Knowing that you have already provided such an excellent guide on the proper uses of marital spanking, she leaves all discussion of that tool in your capable hands, as a demure wife should. Instead, she shows us the beautiful benefits that your consistent, careful oversight of her has provided. The picture she presents is one of peace and harmony, that of a woman who shows her husband the respect and deference he deserves as the unquestioned leader of their home, serving him as she would the Lord.

    All women are different, of course, and I suspect that the rituals of physical discipline, being bent and shaped by my husband, occupy much more of my attention than your wife’s. I fear my husband’s punishments, but I also fear the complete lack of them. They remind me of my position under his authority and bind me firmly to his side. I am never more soft and obedient than when I hold the memory of a recent correction close in my heart. I am preoccupied with marital discipline much more than I should be as a wife, and I continue to struggle to make sense of my very real need for it. I experience guilt over the sins I commit which make punishment necessary, as well as embarrassment over the obvious ways in which I blossom after being punished. Why can’t I just be good in the first place? Why do I need to be spanked yet again? I am ashamed and grateful and fearful and blessed all at once. I am so deeply flawed, yet somehow also worthy of love and forgiveness.

    Ultimately, I have to surrender those conflicting feelings to God and trust in the wisdom of His plan. Your wife’s beautifully written article reminds me that I should still my heart and simply appreciate the happiness that firm Biblical headship has brought to our marriage. How my husband chooses to lead me and the frequency of his corrections are not my concern. He will watch over me and give me everything I need, so I have no cause to wring my hands over the way in which he accomplishes this. Whether I think it’s shameful that I still need to be spanked doesn’t have any bearing on whether my husband will continue to punish me when it’s called for. (He’ll do, as he’s always done, exactly what is necessary to keep our marriage on track.) Nor does it take away from the loving restoration I enjoy at his hands afterwards, when I am wonderfully cleansed and forgiven. The beauty of discipline doesn’t lie in those tearful moments spent over his knee, but in all of the peaceful, joyous, and loving moments it affords us in between. It lies in the obedience and respect of a woman well-tended by her man. My focus should be, as your wife’s is, on putting to use the lessons my husband has taught me for the good of our marriage.

    I would be thrilled to read anything else you’d like your wife to share with your readers (and I do hope we’ll hear more in time!), but I have to disagree that the piece was lacking in any way. She quite rightly reminds women that obedience and submission are the end results on which disciplined wives should train their focus. My tendency to dwell on the role that punishment serves in my marriage feels immature and immodest in comparison to the gracious example set by your lovely wife. I would like to think that as my husband and I move beyond the early years of marriage, we’ll experience more of the pure benefits of his headship, the peace and joy that it brings us both, with less of the strife that makes physical discipline so necessary. As I continue to grow under his leadership, I will hold your wife’s words close to my heart and pray for the strength to follow her holy example.

    Thank you again, Aron, for sharing your sweet wife with the ladies in your audience. Blessings to you both!

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Sophia, I am very happy that you found value in my wife’s article about her submission. I believe she is an excellent example for other women. While I would praise her for all the virtue that she has, she has also grown for years under my guidance and discipline as her husband, as I take my responsibilities seriously. I have seen both of these help her to grow in her strengths and to avoid stumbles.

      There is so much peace, as you say, in simply trusting in your husband and in God’s plan for your marriage. It takes a lot of weight off your shoulders. I deeply appreciate your respect for your husband and your willingness to face correction by him. The requires humility, which is a great reflection of our Savior. You are doing very well. I may ask my wife to write another article, but probably not within a year. I hope your marriage continues to be blessed with joy and love.

      1. Sophia Avatar
        Sophia

        Aron,

        Without a doubt, your precious wife’s virtue is a testament to the strength of your leadership as her husband. Her goodness is the direct result of how well you have honored the vows made on your wedding day and how seriously you have heeded God’s call to men to serve as the head of their wives. Your light shines through her.

        Whenever I am tempted to be prideful in my own life, I remind myself that I was forged in the fire of my husband’s passion for our Lord and Savior. He has painstakingly molded me into the woman I’ve become, and where I serve the Lord well, the glory is owed not to me, but to my husband, who protects and guides me always. Without him, I would be lost. I thank God for bringing me into his loving care through the bonds of holy marriage.

        I must apologize if, in my excitement to hear from your wife, I momentarily forgot that she is also a woman whose pure heart was forged by the fire of her husband’s abiding love for her. Where she has strayed, you have set her straight. Where she was weak, you have made her strong. Where she has sinned, you have brought her back into the light of the Lord. It’s clear to us all that you have trained her well, and as a result, her every success is ultimately a credit to you.

        Praise be to God.

  8. LisaH Avatar
    LisaH

    I am struggling, I just read this and it made me cry. It spoke to me and hearing that when you started your journey you were scared is comforting to me. The first few thoughts in reading this was how unselfish, loving and caring your wife is. My husband wants me to give up my job and take care of him and our home and our future children. I have heard so many other woman negatively comment about woman who stay home and take care of their families and home and that they are crazy. I actually was never one of those woman as I always thought that woman who stay home should be paid way more than any woman working outside the home, as it is hard work and a woman who does this should be honored and respected by other woman because it is literally a woman putting others before themselves, for the good of their husbands, children and home. It is so beautiful and loving to be able to put others before yourself. It isn’t a weakness it is a strength. I admire your wife immensely. I am doubting living this lifestyle out for my husband and it is making me look at myself and asking where has my selfishness come from? And why am I so afraid to live out something that sounds so beautiful.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Hello Lisa H, I am glad you can recognize the beauty and goodness of this life. It is the calling of God to the woman. We live in a truly demented culture, which treats men like women, women like men, denigrates what is good, and uplifts what is evil. You really have to practice a lot of separation and shut much of that out. Know that you are called to something very different.

      You must set you heart on following God, and that will include following your husband. It is simply the right thing to do, and you will be richly rewarded by it. In lowering yourself, you are lifted up. A woman submits to her husband and sacrifices for home and family, and her husband loves and praises her, and provides for all of her needs. You can lovingly share any doubts or fears you have with your husband, but trust in him, and always follow him unless he demands something which is sinful. Submission is knowing that the decision is his. That’s even when you don’t feel like it. My wife understands this wonderfully. She can gracefully submit, even if she has misgivings. She can be meek and loving, even if I am not perfect.

      It is a godly walk to live fully as a wife for the rest of your life. Sacrifice is a union with Christ when you are trusting in Him. You give up love of self and control, and that is always frightening to a degree. In giving up, you are filled with grace. Do not be afraid. Trust in God and in your husband.

  9. LisaH Avatar
    LisaH

    Thank you so much Aron. When I read this from your wife something just hit me and my tears just started flowing, like they are now after reading your reply to me. I prefer to think of my tears as God is working through you and your wife to get his message out to as many married couples you can to live the authentic way that God designed for a husband and wife. I have been struggling and just went on the internet to search the subject and your site came up. I was never expecting to be moved so powerfully and to have my answer so quickly. My tears I am confident is me letting go and realizing that my true and only place on this earth is right here, where God designed me to be in our home caring for my husband and our future children. I love my husband and God so much and the last thing in the world that I wanted to do was go to him and tell him I was reneging on our agreement, as I know that would have devastated him knowing the wonderful, Christian man that he is. Thank you for reminding me that I simply need to let go and trust in God and my husband. My husband could sense something was up and tonight I can waylay his fears and tell him that I am fully committed to him as his wife and to living this beautiful life out with him! Thank you Aron and please thank your wife for me, and please tell her that I can literally feel and hear God when reading both of your words. What a gift you both our to this world!

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      That is wonderful to hear, Lisa. I am very happy to be able to help in any way that I can. That is why I spend time with this website and I believe it is more than worth it. I want you to be able to see how it all fits together, not just the discipline, but all of the good and wholesome things that make a marriage. Marriage is just God showing us the right way to love one another. Tears can be a great gift to the soul. God bless you and your family.

Leave a Reply