Preemptive Spanking

In many homes spanking are used for more than a punishment. They can serve a variety of purposes in training, some of which I have discussed before when it comes to training or “maintenance” discipline. One further use, which might fit into the umbrella of training, is a preemptive use: that means you give a spanking before the problem occurs, if a possible fall into temptation is near. This means that a situation may be approaching in which a wife has repeatedly been disobedient, and she is spanked as a warning or reminder to be in good behavior coming up. It helps her keep her husband’s will on her mind, and helps her remember the consequences of failure.

I have never given spankings for this purpose, but if a problem is recurring, I certainly see its usefulness. Any spanking can put a wife firmly back into an attitude of submissiveness, and reverence for her husband. This will be especially useful if a situation which might cause her to fall is coming up soon. She will be more likely to maintain the right attitude, and pass through any hurdles without repeating her misbehavior. It is essentially a reminder. 

Naturally, the need for a reminder can be motivated by a variety of situations. A wife who has been repeatedly ignoring her husband’s spending limits may be given a reminder spanking before she has major shopping to do. A wife who has been disrespectful in particular social situations, such as around friends or family, may be helped by a spanking before a gathering occurs. If she has misused alcohol, a spanking may help her retain self-control when a get-together is coming where alcohol will be served. A wife who has been skipping out on some of her household duties would benefit from a spanking at the start of the week, to make sure she gets everything done. 

Like other kinds of maintenance, or non-punishment spanking, preemptive spankings do not need to be as hard as ones for punishment. Some would insist they must not be as hard. The purpose is not to punish a wrong (in some instances that has already been done), but to provide an immanent reminder, reaffirm her submission and respect for her husband, and provide her a stronger connection to her man. That connection itself will keep those things fully in her mind. In this, it will help steer her away from temptation when it approaches soon. It is a stinging reminder over her husband’s knee, and her backside need not be sore for very long. 

A woman who is receiving a spanking is saying: I belong to you, sir. My body belongs to you. You are my lord and I serve you. I am yours and I want to please you. I want to do right and fulfill everything you say. This deep expression and powerful experience has uses beyond punishing a past wrong. It builds up the bond of marriage, and it leads a woman more deeply in her walk in submission. Putting herself fully in this place, while frightening in the moment, is a gift to marriage and the home. When she is walking with a full knowledge of her man’s will, of her belonging to him, she is more likely to walk uprightly. She is more likely to have what she needs to do present on her mind, and avoid falling this time. 

Learning submission is not so easy for all. It’s not unusual for bad attitudes to be recurring, and this can lead to frustration as well, for both husband and wife. For this reason, this form of reminder can prove useful. If any of our readers have used preemptive spankings, and can express how they work, I’d be interested in hearing, since I’ve never given them myself. I do find them appropriate if there is a clear reason to use them due to an ongoing problem.

  


Comments

16 responses to “Preemptive Spanking”

  1. I was one, it was not easy for me to learn to be submissive. My husband was very consistent with each rule violation, I was over my knee and got a very sore backside. I now wonder if some preemptive spanking would have helped avoid some bad punishment spanking?

  2. Confused Avatar

    I don’t ever remember a time when using this. But, I have thought about it, and it makes sense. Especially if you’re known to have a problem in a certain area. I remember one time in particular… I was warned not to say too much or argue with a group of people at a Bible study, when my husband wasn’t there. I promised not to. Well, it ended up in a specific Bible discussion. I was right. The points I made were completely valid and the same as my husband’s would have been, had he been there. The problem was, my attitude and the way I answered the men in the group. 😐 It ended up, not so well for me, when he talked to me about that meeting. I think, had there been a preemptive spanking, it probably would have prevented the whole thing.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you for sharing that story. It is a good practical example of how preemptive discipline could be applied. Being argumentative with them was wrong, even if your basic point was correct.

  3. LindatoBehave Avatar
    LindatoBehave

    My husband received an email regarding this topic and we thoroughly discussed it. Both of us believe that Preemptive Spanking could work in our situation. Next Saturday evening we are attending a community event dinner. I have a tendency to interrupt people and at times have received a good bottom warming when we got home.

    Next Saturday, my husband is going to try something different: I was told to expect a preemptive spanking before we leave the house.

    If anyone is interested I will let you know how it goes, works, etc.

  4. My husband uses maintenance spankings sparingly but effectively.

    Often if we are going to an event or appointment where I’ve struggled in the past, I will get a reminder spanking. These are not as hard as punishment spankings, but still a solid warning of who’s in charge and what could be waiting should my “bulldozer” come out.

    But he also uses them to calm me. I have social anxiety. Always have. Sometimes, he’ll just pull me in the bedroom and give me a thorough tanning, not as a warning, but more of a warm reminder that I’m held. So that throughout the evening I’ll remember he’s got me.

    Both have proven to be a huge help, even if sometimes I don’t want them at the time.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      I’m glad the spankings have proven helpful to you, Bronwyn. Thank you. They definitely function as a reminder. A spanking for stress relief also deserves its own discussion, and has some unique goals.

  5. My husband uses reminder spankings regularly. I have found that they can be very useful in helping me to focus on being obedient and submissive. I recently was spanked before hosting some family for a weekend. I can tend to get very anxious before they arrive and lash out when preparing our home. The morning before they arrived he put me over his lap for a firm reminder that I am to watch my words and he is only there to help me. These spankings aren’t painful but they slow my mind down a bit and help me to remember that the behavior will not be tolerated. As a wife I appreciate these types of spankings because they help to settle me without having to be harsh. They also help to remind me of how much my husband loves and cares for me. It shows me he is paying attention to me and my needs and can catch my feelings before I even can.

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Having visitors can be a time of unique stress and can sometimes create pitfalls of conflict or annoyance. I can see how a spanking could calm you for that coming situation. Very often that’s all a spanking needs to be, reminding you of your place, and keeping you calm and focused. I’m glad you can also see how much your husband loves you. Thanks for sharing your experience.

      1. Your husband does love you so much, Jess! Our men are so skilled in helping us to stay on the right track and catching us before we fall. I, too, tend to be anxious and emotional before family events, and it helps me to lean into my husband’s strength, taking my shelter beneath him. I remember the sting of his past punishments and learn to find a calmer place within. Blessings to you!

  6. LindatoBehave Avatar
    LindatoBehave

    Okay, I did receive a Preemptive Spanking from my husband a couple of weeks ago, which remains very vivid in my memory. Actually, we were fully dressed (me in skirt and heels) and ready to leave. To my chagrin, I received a good warming over his knee with his heavy hand on my bared behind along with the talking to ending in: this is just a preview of what your going to get when we get home, if you don’t watch that mouth tonight. Needless to say and told to get in that car, I did NOT interrupt anyone and behaved. I learned my lesson from my husband and avoided a good paddling that evening. I felt so much like a child over his knee – big girls in a skirt and heels should not have to be spanked. This weekend we are going to a Valentine’s event. I will behave and also, was told, I will be reminded again to be sure I learned my lesson. My response: yes, Sir!

    1. aronhusband Avatar
      aronhusband

      Thank you for your comment. That is a good example of how the preemptive spanking can work. I’m happy to see it was so effective for you.

      1. LindatoBehave Avatar
        LindatoBehave

        Thank you, Aronhusband for your comment and encouragement. My husband reviewed your comment and agrees that the preemptive spanking he gave me was so effective – we WILL be continuing the practice going forward. Also, I now have an assignment for Saturday morning: make a list of repeated misbehaviors that I think a preemptive spanking would work to my benefit. My husband will do the same and we will compare notes on Saturday. Although I will give my input, my husband will decide on our next steps. I will, of course, accept his decisions. Thank you.

    2. Hi Linda,

      How long have you been living this lifestyle?

      You seem like you are very submissive to your husband and accept his directions without question. I am new to this, haven’t been spanked yet and I am now not sure I want this lifestyle. I know that would definitely not be something my husband wants to hear from me. I am afraid it will earn me my first spanking if I tell him this. How long did it take you to learn to accept all his changes and live this way.

  7. I am thankful that my husband has never found it necessary to preemptively spank me. There’s always been a sound reason, clear to both of us, that requires my punishment when it occurs. However, there have been warnings in certain occasions that have made it clear that my husband might entertain the idea of it, should I ever struggle to heed his word on a regular basis.

    My emotions sometimes overwhelm me and cause me to be sharp and disrespectful, not just to my husband, but shamefully, to my father and stepmother in the past. I’ve earned more than a few spankings for not having the strength and maturity to hold my tongue. The extreme emotional release brought on by a hard spanking helps me immensely, and I find I’m more balanced in the days and weeks afterward, less likely to lose my cool. It’s not that I stop myself from speaking harshly, but more that I don’t feel the need to. I have a sense of inner peace, having surrendered control to the man who leads me.

    This hidden benefit is quite clear to my husband, and he’s referenced this a few times when offering a warning, asking me if I needed a little memory refresher before a potentially stressful social situation. As much as I recognize the good that discipline brings, I’ve never failed to do everything I can to avoid it, once I had the opportunity to experience just how powerful a deterrent it could be. So while I’ve always assured him that I will behave myself (and I usually do), I don’t doubt that if I disobeyed him frequently, he might see the need to flatten a rebellious urge before it could gain a foothold. He knows that his freshly disciplined wife is always calmer, quieter, and better behaved.

    It can’t be the best use of my husband’s time, and I tend to cry quite a bit, so I would need time to regain my composure before we could join our family and friends. I would be disappointed in myself if preemptive spankings became necessary for me to behave as my husband expects. However, if he chose to use this tool to give his warnings more teeth, I know that it would have a positive, balancing effect on my emotional regulation. I may not welcome them, but, like Jess, I know I would be grateful for the way a good paddling can settle my restless mind. As always, I trust my husband to give me exactly what I need from him, as only he in his wisdom can determine.

  8. Anthony.z Avatar
    Anthony.z

    I am going to have to definitely try this with my wife in certain areas where she has had difficulty with. Such as arguing with people in a group setting to get her opinion across. She also has a bad habit of interrupting people and conversations that she had no business being involved in. I would spank her when I got home, but the preemptive spanking may work better as she will have a reminder on her sore bottom to stay in her lane. It would also avoid the embarrassment I feel at times when we are out and she misbehaves. This is certainly not appropriate behavior for a submissive wife.

    1. That sounds like a fair evaluation, Anthony. They may prove helpful to her in staying out of trouble. Thanks for your comment.

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