A phenomenon many men are familiar with is the wife that does something just so she can get into trouble and be spanked. Usually, it’s something minor, but enough to get her husband’s attention and some time over his knee. This is usually referred to in domestic discipline as bratting, but just think of it as breaking rules or generally being annoying, for little reason besides getting spanked. This is probably a set of different phenomena that look very similar, but many would call it all by the same name anyway. She likes to act like a brat because she likes to get spanked like one.
I don’t experience this behavior with my wife, but years before marriage, I did have one girlfriend who would fall into this sometimes cute category. She would find something little to do to bother me, intentionally, and then do it repeatedly once I’d told her to stop. Then I’d tell her she was in trouble, flip her immediately over my knee, take up her skirt, take down her panties, and spank her right there with my hand. She would settle down after that, but the next time she was at my place, she’d try the same thing, and end up with another spanking until she settled down. It was cute. You could say it was unnecessary, but she was drawn to being spanked, and I was more than happy to oblige. The spankings I gave her were hard enough that she’d try to reach back — and I’d hold her arm at the wrist behind her back and keep spanking — but they were not severe at all. It was just enough to cool her down and get her soft and compliant. For the most part, I considered it harmless.
The reasons that a woman might act out like this are multiple. Obviously, the simple excitement of being spanked is one reason, as is feeling her man’s power and erotic energy immediately and deeply. A woman needs this. She wants that fulfilling feeling of being made soft and powerless. Other women may have less harmless motivations, and engage in less harmless bratting. It may actually come from hidden resentment toward her man, rather than the thrill of her man’s strength. It could be rooted in true rebelliousness, and enter into more serious misbehavior, in which case I would say it’s much worse than simple bratting. The behavior can often look the same, but underneath it is not.
You can legitimately find different ways to deal with minor, but intentional misbehavior. One thing is to realize that she may basically want a play spanking, and that’s why she’s doing something small to get one. If she needs a play spanking, there’s nothing wrong with giving her one — less severe than a punishment, but firm enough to make her feel your command and to give her peace inside. Often that’s exactly what she’s looking for. If it is ongoing, bratting could be a call to give her regular training spankings, what many call maintenance. She may be aching for that clear leadership, and by getting herself in trouble she is trying to get it. You may try putting her on a regular schedule of training spankings focused on her submission and softness to you. It is for her to learn your complete command of her. With a regular, perhaps weekly training over your knee, she may be less agitated and needing to be spanked.
Don’t forget, since you don’t know for sure the motivation, and you don’t know for sure what will best deal with the behavior, it’s worth discussing the matter with your wife if it’s an ongoing problem. Ask her why she is intentionally getting in trouble. Ask her what she thinks she needs to not behave like that. It may be that she needs to feel your leadership more regularly, NOT just in spanking her. It may be that you need to practice more daily guidance of her — giving her clear instructions, guiding her growth spiritually, giving regular verbal corrections, keeping her sexually submissive to you — so that in all these things she more intimately and constantly knows her submission. She is fulfilled in giving herself to you. She knows your strength daily. Being fulfilled that way she may find she does not need to put on an act to get spanked, which all things considered, is kind of an immature thing to do.
If her behavior inches out of very minor mischief into serious disobedience, I would consider other approaches. Simply put, I don’t consider that to be bratting, but rather it reflects a lack of submission overall, and possible rebelliousness. If her behavior is serious, naturally it should not be met with a play spanking. She needs to know that dishonoring her man is not a game. Disobedience is not a game. I would tan her hide and let her know that behavior is not tolerated at all. She would not soon forget that lesson and would never want to repeat it. Openly, or publicly dishonoring a husband is not play, and strikes at the core of marriage, and the core of what marriage represents. To dishonor the head of the home is to dishonor Christ.
Repeatedly choosing to get in trouble — through serious disobedience — may also reflect an ineffectiveness of spanking in general. If you discern that it does, you can respond in several ways. The first may be to use non-spanking punishments alongside firm spankings, ones which she truly wants to stay away from. Many husbands already do this, combining writing lines, mouth soaping, or grounding alongside the humbling and painful experience of a spanking. They find this makes for a more effective punishment in the long run, and more personal growth in their wife.
If spanking does not work, nothing says you have to use it. Feel free to put a pause on it for a while. It may be that other methods work better for your wife. If your wife repeatedly misbehaves, and thinks that’s funny, give her a 10-page research paper to write and see how funny she thinks it is. It should be researched, be in essay format, have correct grammar and spelling, possess a works cited page, and correctly follow one of the style guides, such as MLA or APA format. There should be at least 5 works cited, quality sources, no wikipedia. Believe me, there are many wives that, having to go through that terrifying experience, will not repeat the behavior, and will beg for mercy. Therefore, if she is looking for a spanking, sometimes the best thing to tell her is — no.
I realize much of what I’ve said requires some discernment on the part of the husband, but that should come with the territory. It is up to you to see whether this is mostly harmless behavior on her part, whether it can be treated really as a game, or whether it is more serious, and requires more serious action. You need to decide the best course based on your judgment, your preferences, and what you see in your wife. What are the motivations, the intentions, the effects of her actions?
I don’t think a marriage is greatly harmed if getting herself in trouble amounts to something very minor, and a play spanking. The marriage IS in some danger, and the household in danger, if it is more serious than that. You should speak with her to understand why she is behaving that way. You may respond with better daily leadership, play spankings, training spankings, or if her behavior is worse, with more severe punishments, including non-spanking discipline. I don’t believe bratting is serious in most cases, but it can be. The end result of your choices, either way, should be a safe, peaceful, godly household, and a virtuous, gentle wife. Keep your eyes on that goal.
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