Perhaps one of the hardest decisions to make is deciding if spanking needs to be done away with. It’s a big marriage decision to start it, and just as big a decision to step back from. I obviously think spanking is excellent, and helpful for couples in most instances. However, spanking can also carry unique challenges for some individuals, and can be applied wrongly. Just as some marriages find they need it over time, others find they should not be using it over time. What qualifies for the latter? For what reasons might spanking be given a temporary moratorium, or ended as a practice?
Clearly, one of the biggest reasons is that is has proven it does not help. This is especially if it hasn’t done good over time, even when various adjustments are made. A wife is not improving in her behavior or attitude. She may be becoming worse. Years have passed and she is not growing in submission. Spanking should result in improvement over time, even on the scale of years. I and many readers would testify to this. However, that’s not always the case. If it is ineffective, then at the minimum I would say this justifies putting a pause on it, and working in other ways. Granted, if there is no improvement, it’s always possible spanking is NOT at fault. A husband might be making other mistakes. He could be doing a poor job of instructing her, in feeding her spiritually, in being a godly example, in showing love and affection. It may be these things which need to change and not the method of discipline. However, assuming he is generally leading and loving well, has already tried making adjustments, then if spanking is not working it makes plenty of sense to try other methods.
Another reason to pause or end spanking would be illness, debility, or age. I am not a medical expert, but certainly there are medical conditions which would make spanking considerably more dangerous than it normally is. The danger in spanking is normally minimal, and if done responsibly, while it causes pain, will not lead to serious injury or long-term damage. However, any number of injuries could make spanking severely more painful, or damaging to bone or tissue. Age could also make the body far more sensitive to a serious paddling. Most of us don’t normally go to a doctor and ask if it’s safe to spank a woman with a medical condition, so clear answers could be hard to come by. Do your best to do your own research, and learn from others who have dealt with similar situations. Be aware of your wife’s feelings and new sensitivities if she ends up with a medical condition, or as she ages. It is best to be safe, and avoid possible harm.
You might also pause or end spanking because it’s been overused already. Some husbands punish for so many things, that a wife can be overwhelmed and be afraid of making any mistake. Punishment has lost its real purpose in correcting behavior, and simply is something that seems to her randomly applied. She can’t do anything right. She fails to learn. Spanking has replaced words, where simple words might be needed. If a woman has been treated too rigidly, or harshly over time, it may be good to simply return to regular teaching, and verbal correction for a time. Those are normal modes of leading, and allow her to get accustomed to submitting without constant worry. Verbal correction can still include non-spanking discipline, and sexual service for a wife to show her good submissive attitude. Too frequent punishment ends up defeating the purpose, and harming the relationship. I’d recommend pausing it for a while if it has caused such an overly legal and punitive environment.
These are several main reasons to step back from spanking your wife. It’s possible there are others. Ineffectiveness, health, and misuse stand out as the most prominent. In my view, stopping the practice really only amounts to a pause. That’s because I see the husband as carrying the right to discipline as he sees he needs to. So even in a marriage without spanking, or one that has ended the practice, he may use it if he needs. It comes with being the husband. He also has all the other tools available to him to lead, including disciplining his wife in non-corporal ways. Guiding her is his responsibility, by whichever method is best. Spanking has shown it can tame an unruly woman quickly, with good hard swats on her bare behind. It does not tame everyone, and despite its attraction, is not required.
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