Keep Her Mouth Clean

One tool of discipline in many marriages is mouth-soaping. This is the required punishment for various kinds of filthy talk from the wife, to give her a lesson on being clean. In my own home, I have never had a problem with my wife using bad language, cuss words, lewd talk or anything like that, so while I fully approve of this method of discipline, I do not have personal experience. I understand it from the experience others share with me. Or from the last time I accidentally got soap in my own mouth. This may not be a spanking punishment, but it is not mild, and a wife will not want to repeat it.

Ladies I’ve heard from who had to undergo mouth-soaping say it is awful, and some would prefer to simply be spanked instead. It is a terrible taste, and sensation, and stays in the mouth for a long while. I don’t think that any wife, after enduring this punishment, would think easily of talking filthy again, and would immediately pause if she caught herself doing it. She’s seen how serious it is. Soap can be as effective in cleaning up a woman’s language as it is in cleaning anything else.

There really are more than one ways to apply this to the lady. Some men simply have her keep a bar of soap in her mouth for the required time or until they decide it is enough. Others may rub liquid soap around her mouth, tongue, and gums and let it sit. It may stimulate drooling, but that’s something you can wipe away later. Eventually she is allowed to go wash her mouth out, which may be after ten to fifteen minutes. The sensation and taste will remain for a long time though.

Mouth-soaping is often done alongside the usual punishment rituals, such as undress, lecturing, or standing in the corner. These all add to the meaning and effectiveness of a punishment, whether spanking or another. I will have my wife undressed for a formal verbal correction, or for writing lines, and it fits here too, despite the fact her bottom won’t be spanked. The undress affects her vulnerability and submission to you, so it’s best to use it. Whether to add to this formidable punishment a spanking afterward is up to you. To me this sounds like two punishments in one, since mouth soaping is so serious, and if it were up to me I would not do it, unless the offense were bad enough or I was punishing for more than one serious matter.

A word should be said about safety, as any soap used internally needs to be non-toxic. It’s fairly easy to find both bar soap and liquid soap that you can get in your mouth without serious harm. Since she should not be swallowing the soap either, she will have to let any extra soap or saliva run out of her mouth, adding to the unpleasant, and humbling experience that this lesson includes. She may swallow a small amount naturally without harm, but more than a little could cause stomach pains or nausea.

The language of a woman is important. Clearly, purity in speech is good for both men and women, but for women it is even more essential. The woman represents the holiness of the Bride of Messiah, not a coarse drunkard or sailor. Her gentle heart is pictured by modesty and gentleness, not by bold vulgarity or lewd speech. Her language is that of a mother and nurturer, not a soldier on the front lines. Being the weaker vessel and object of much desire, lewd talk from a woman also attracts attention from other men and makes her more vulnerable to them. Making sure her language is of a godly women, and feminine, is of great importance.

In this culture, in which many women are taught to imitate men, and to be as coarse as they are, you will run into more women who have trouble with foul language. They may have absorbed it from their friends and their tv shows. They might have sought it out themselves, trying to imagine themselves as big and bad. But when people learn it young, it doesn’t go away so easily. I would expect that younger wives now could have a learning curve to go through in cleaning up their talk. They will need to let their husbands lead them in this, and they may have some unfortunate times to be mouth-soaped. These are times they will not forget. Like anything else, the punishment works with her all-around learning, especially if she is tying to do what is right, and it will help her leave that behavior. I believe within a year she will have unlearned much of that, in part through that harsh reminder.

Having said that, a husband should also know this — if he is filling the home with popular music, shows, and movies that use vulgar and sexual language, HE is a part of the problem. He is making his wife impure. He is failing to protect her from evil. The Word of God calls the Christian to be set apart and pure. He must make sure that influences in the home are godly ones. If he is filling the air with coarse entertainment, but then expecting her mouth to be pure, he is playing the hypocrite. He needs to work toward her purity in the way he leads the home, not just in punishing her for bad language. It may be a shock to the lifestyles of some Christians, but they should set themselves apart from those vulgar things. It is not a part of their lives now that they know the Lord.

So consider this form of discipline a part of washing your wife clean, if she needs it. I never have, but you might. It is only a small appendage of your daily washing, in which you work toward her holiness and growth in her faith. You lead her in this through example, through devotions to God, and through the standards you set in the home. She will appreciate that you love her to be pure, even if for a moment you have to chastise her. It will work for the good. Our mouth and actions reflect our heart, and our heart should be clean.