I’ve made it no secret in this discipline guide that much of the motivation for marital discipline comes from the ladies themselves, who desire to be disciplined. It is no stretch to say that most who suggest the wife’s submission, or firm correction, are the wives themselves. Yet despite this encouraging fact, women will find the early stages of being led and corrected to be challenging. Women will find they have at times an instinctive reaction against their husband, and against being spanked. They will struggle with making progress, finding some of their progress to be temporary, and risk being discouraged when they fall back into past attitudes or behavior. It can be frustrating to see anger well up, when you know very well you should be respectful and meek to your husband instead. It’s important to take note of this early resistance, and learn that it can be overcome very simply over time.
The causes of this early hump are not very numerous. They are simple challenges that come from the sin nature, and needing to develop strength to overcome our obstacles. A woman might react against her correction because of pride. She may find old rebelliousness returning — an ancient weakness of women, and one that requires constant work. She may also find herself resisting out of simple fear, which makes her not want to face a spanking, and leads her to develop any number of poor reasons why she shouldn’t get one. A husband’s misuse of discipline can also contribute to her challenge, if he has been unloving, or has been overusing rules and correction. This last challenge is one a husband must address, and once he does, her own efforts will see more fruit. The dismay a woman sometimes feels as she feels unable to over come her resistance can be likened to a mountain. You can reach a point when you feel you can climb no more. You are sure you’re out of energy, and your body is too sore to continue. However, with a refreshing rest, and a few choice snacks, you have a second wind, and make it to the top. Likewise, overcoming early challenges in submission, can seem too taxing for us. Perseverance, and the right tactics, will help nearly anyone make it to the peak. It gets much easier after that.
In struggling with resistance, it is important a lady remember that her submission is a way that she gives herself to her husband. It shows her belonging to her. Nothing is more intrinsic to the marriage union than that. Submission is her part in the marriage union. She does not hold anything back of herself. To resist her man’s command, or his correction, is selfish, and amounts to disrespecting him. It is a form of rejection. To turn around and refuse to do what your husband has told you is demonic and foul. She should know that, when she dutifully hears him and does his will, or when she has to trembling bend over to be spanked, she is simply showing him the honor due. She is fulfilling her wonderful place in following her husband. A wife’s love and her submission are complete, and she helps make them complete when she humbles herself to accept correction. Even if she does so with trepidation.
Bring to mind also that your submission reflects your softness as a woman. Independence does not reflect that. Submission does. A loud mouth does not reflect that. Silence and gentleness does. It fulfills your femininity to follow your lord, and it also manifests the humility you should have in your soul. Both as a woman, and as a child of God, your goal should be to show humility to your man. To reject the authority God has placed above you is prideful and will lead to rebellion and conflict. It brings much worse pain than a spanking. A woman can live at peace with her own nature and with her man when she is soft and gentle, and receives his word as her command. Nurture the femininity you have. Recognize how glorious is the role of submission, and how inseparable from the marriage union it is.
A woman who is walking forward in submission, and finds herself bristling at being corrected, needs to take a moment to think of the good reasons for her correction. Correction helps end her bad behavior, it helps avert more serious conflict, and it makes sure a wrong is dealt with fully and is in the past. Once the correction is done with, there will be no remembering it, and there will be no bitterness between man and wife. She should see to amazing peace it brings to her home and her marriage. Likewise, she ought to think briefly of the harm done by her pride, harm that breaks to bond of love and causes conflict and fighting in many marriages. Being humble for a short time, long enough to receive verbal correction and a spanking, averts great harm. Her bad attitude and behavior is serious, and a spanking reinforces how serious it is, and how important it is she be back on the right path.
A simple fear of punishment is often the motivator for a woman’s inner resistance. Knowing that a spanking can help the situation doesn’t necessarily make it easier to deal with facing pain. Early in a marriage this fear can present more of a problem, since a wife is new to correction. Whatever the fear, or how grand it seems, she should know that she will make it through her discipline session. There are women every day who receive similar correction, and they face it and succeed in making it to the end. The fire of punishment is purely temporary. It’s there for a good reason. Think of the wrong you have done, and focus on wanting to make it right. Understand the seriousness of that wrong. Make it your meditation to think of expressing your remorse to your husband, and expressing your devotion to him. These things will help you make it through the pain of a strapping.
A husband can play his role in aiding his wife in overcoming her resistance. I primarily speak on assuring that he use discipline correctly, and not greatly overdo it. Nearly anyone will feel constrained, if not uncared for, if everything in daily life is made a matter of rules, and if any mistake requires a serious penalty. A husband needs to set realistic goals in attitude and behavior for his wife, and chastise firmly and regularly for serious wrongs. He should avoid being unclear about rules as well. Beyond establishing a productive system of discipline, he should make sure his wife is both loved and led daily. Daily leadership is verbal, and gentle, and the average verbal correction does not need to be harsh. A woman who is not treated with love and honor will feel more overburdened by correction, and correction will feel more inhumane. She ought to know you are a good man to follow. Her correction is a loving form of guidance, and she will be restored to the joy and peace she had with you before.
On the opposite pole, a husband who is slack with discipline can assure that his wife never takes bold steps in submission in the first place. If his leadership is weak, if he is giving her little instruction, few verbal corrections or spankings, she may not see the rails so easily. She may not take his words seriously. She may also not experience his strength so powerfully, and her instinct to rebel may think it has the freedom to do so. He makes her king of the hill. Therefore, a weak man may silently be encouraging his wife’s bad behavior. That’s not to say there’s an excuse for it — she still needs to practice self-discipline — but he facilitates her backsliding by his lack of instruction and correction. A wife should receive clear instruction, and know bad behavior will land her in hot water. His spanking should be hard enough she will never want to get one.
While I could analyze reasons for a woman’s early resistance to spanking, and could provide more tips, I believe most important is that she knows she will overcome it, and that it is wrong to reject it. From the many stories I have heard, there is victory in the future for those who persist in their efforts. You’ll be on the other side of the hump, very grateful that you made it. You’ll be on a new plain, in which you find submission easier than before. If you’ve ever learned a new skill, like a language or a musical instrument, there are periods where your work and practice does not seem to pay off. You go through ups and downs and you wonder if you’ll ever get good. Then one day, almost by surprise, you’re on a whole new level, and can do the amazing, what formerly seemed like it was for the experts. You step into and enjoy that new ease of use. The only abject failures I’ve heard about in discipline are from those who stop trying, and likely had only half their heart in it to start. It is a matter of humbling yourself and persisting, and of the loving leadership and consistent discipline by the husband. You will be pleased with the greater peace you find once you grow past your resistance, and with the easy harmony you have as man and wife. Your body and mind will learn to follow your will — which is to be truly submissive.
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