Men who lead their homes and discipline their wives tend to have two potential pitfalls before them. One is being overly legalistic and harsh, and the other is lacking oversight, and being soft with punishment. I have included a few articles warning against the former, and would like to focus on avoiding the latter pitfall. Just as a man must avoid ruling in a totalitarian way, he must avoid being lazy or permissive. He cannot be afraid to spank hard when needed, or fear when his wife complains about a spanking. He’s got to be involved, give conscientious oversight, and give punishments hard enough they are a deterrent.
One key to accomplishing this is consistency. Punishment should not be skipped when it is truly earned. There may be unique times to show mercy, but as a general rule a wife should know that to break the rules earns a spanking. In line with consistency, the rules and standards should not be changing. They need to be consistent over time, and if they do change, he needs to tell his wife. Once she knows that stepping over the line willfully earns her a spanking, and once she gets one a few times, she will avoid getting too close to the line. Many wives will also learn better what behavior pleases her husband, and wanting to please him, will better shoot for that mark. Letting bad behavior go simply cannot accomplish this.
A husband should not be lazy with discipline That includes any discussions he needs to have with her, any verbal correction, and any spankings. Work life can make it difficult to find the time, but discipline should not be given a low priority, or put off because it takes time and energy. Make the time, and give the attention to guiding your wife as needed. It could be a few minutes of verbal instruction here and there. It could be a discipline session that takes over half an hour. The good it brings to her behavior in the short and long term make the work worthwhile. Many couples manage to have leisure time, and they certainly can have correction time as well. Early in a marriage, or when there are shortcomings, extra time for training may be necessary. With scheduling, and right prioritization, an hour or two every week is not beyond expectations. Later on it will surely be less.
A man can avoid becoming too soft by making sure he gives a thorough and hard spanking. There may be a few women sensitive enough to benefit from a soft spankings, but many women simply do not respect them, and do not feel punished at all to receive mild punishment. They know it’s not an experience to fear. A wife should be humbled, lectured firmly, and spanked with an instrument hard. A good hard spanking will usually leave redness or bruising the next day. It will bring the average wife to tears, and a husband should not fear spanking through her tears until he finds the punishment has fit the crime. I know all the spankings I give are going to be thorough because I have many points to lecture my wife on, and she will be spanked through each one. The spanking ought to be hard enough that the punished lady wish she were not there, wishes it were over, and wishes she had not put herself in that position to begin with. She regrets ever doing what she did. She may doubt she can bear the strokes coming down anymore. The thought of going through it in the future ought to be unpleasant, and bad enough that she avoids that same behavior.
A husband needs to be firm by not giving in to his wife’s excuses, or other pleas to avoid going over the knee. In very few instances have I ever found that an excuse for bad behavior was valid. The only exception may be important information you did not know about the situation which changes the matter. Otherwise, in order to lead and correct her, you have to be able to look past excuses, and spank a woman who is trying to get out of it. You similarly need to be firm in spanking a woman who is in tears, and continuing to spank her as she sheds more of them. If she puts up any resistance during her correction, you also need to end it, and if it continues, punish her for it. Your wife needs to know she is not getting out of her punishment. She earned it. She is responsible. You do not bend to tears or to arguing. She has broken the rules and will be stripped, bent over, and given the penalty until you are sure she has learned her lesson. Any bad attitude or resistance needs to be fully out of her system by the time you are done with her backside.
Just as a husband must spank hard, he’s also got to be serious and firm in his verbal correction during the session. While he should not yell or call names, he ought to be clear about how serious her bad behavior was, and how he does not accept it. He needs to clearly state how she must act, and how she must not act. I find that my discussion before I correct my wife is gentler, but once I get going with her punishment, my words become naturally harder, and stricter sounding, being encouraged by my repeated strokes on her behind. I will repeat myself with words too, and express the same message in different ways. I tell her the lesson she needs to learn from this. I tell her whom she belongs to. I tell her how her behavior needs to be in the future. I make sure she verbally affirms the lesson I am giving her, and she must respond to my questions as I spank her. Being hard with words, yet controlled, aids a wife in both learning the lesson, and taking it seriously. That lesson relates to her behavior and her overall submission to her husband. She needs to be engaged by your words during a correction, and your words need to be clear and firm. They are pointing her in the right direction, as your strokes further motivate her.
A husband should know he is responsible for his wife’s behavior, and needs to give oversight in every domain in life, not in some. He does not only manage her speech to him, but should make sure her speech is clean and respectful in general. He has oversight over her projects in the home, or any projects she does outside of it. He is responsible to make sure she is virtuous, and avoids filthy or unethical behavior. He makes sure her use of the finances are within the bounds he has set. His wife answers to him. He is not shut out from any area of her life. To shirk part of that headship is to bring danger into the marriage, and give her the wrong notion that she is autonomous. It helps to have a regular review of how she has been doing during the week, or a similar period to make sure everything is going well, and she is staying within his bounds. This meeting will help her remember she is answerable to her husband too, and will keep him more fully involved in her life.
Guide your wife regularly with your words. No one wants to use discipline all the time, and it would be a failure to have to do that. Use your words to instruct her, gently correct her, warn her if she is beginning to go down the wrong road, and finally lecture her when needed during a punishment. A man who is thorough in leading his wife with words will find over time she needs to be spanked less often. He will then find that when she is spanked, and given a very humbling lesson, his words are more effective with her, and she knows to respond more easily. Uprisings of bad behavior become rare. Negligence with her duties becomes rare. Nearly everything gets done with words. She should know if she listens and obeys, she won’t have to face a spanking, and he will find joy in seeing how easily she follows him, listens, and cares.
If you are weak with your wife, the chances are high that you lose her respect. Letting her get away with badmouth, honestly, just looks pathetic. A woman may still love a man, but she does not respect a man. You deserve her respect and her obedience. Women have trouble following a man whose words don’t mean much. Either they are too unclear, or she doesn’t see the importance, or she has no fear of being defiant. Defiance can just become a game to her, or a manipulation tactic, because she knows she can get away with it. There is no meaningful price to pay. Good hard spanking, and clear verbal guidance make sure she has to respect your words. She knows what you say is imperative to do. She knows you do not play around, even if you speak softly. You have no qualms about bending her over and putting her through the fire. A wife will welcome those reins, and let you guide her to the left and the right, and with time will give up resistance and love it.
The rules you set for the home, and the discipline you give your wife, are an expression of your deep love. They are not the warm and gushy expression which are most likable about love, but they are some of the most powerful and effective expressions of love. Your rules and discipline maintain the good, and crush the evil. They set up protection against the storm, and protect those inside the family. The law of God is love in action, and every man, as the head of his home, has right to assure it is a place of virtue, holiness, and ethics. He keeps his wife from evil in doing so. As she listens and leads from her man, she finds she has to face the scourge far less, and stays well within the warmer and softer protection of his arms. The rod greatly fulfills the purposes of love.
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