Should I Tell Someone We Spank?

It is natural to want to talk about discipline with others, to share encouragement and support, and also to share difficulties, and to seek needed help. This is especially true of the woman, who is dealing with the harder end of the practice, and may want encouragement in learning submission, or in dealing with punishments. The online world, though not fully anonymous considering all the digital fingerprints you leave, is anonymous enough that many people do share and learn this way. However, there is nothing like real personal support by someone you know. A human being with a voice, in the flesh, you can talk to about what is private practice for almost everyone — the discipline system in your home.

Should man or wife talk about this part of their home life with a personal friend? Many have trusted in a single close friends, and benefited this way. But even with a close friend, there is never perfect security that your private life won’t be made public. Others get to know some of the online bloggers, and eventually talk on the phone or meet in person for shared activities. This is certainly safer than a colleague at work, but there are no guarantees. A few of those people are imposters, and others might leave discipline behind, and be more than happy to spill the beans.

I would say that if it’s important enough to you, and you could really use the fellowship and the guidance, go ahead, but take the best precautions you have. Choose someone you know well, and have known for some time. Choose someone who understands this is a private part of your life and is prepared to respect that. They may be honored to be the one to learn about that part of your life with you, and be enthusiastic in offering you the support you need. Not everyone gets a glimpse into that level of your life, so it really is a special connection.

I have only spoken with one friend about the fact I discipline my wife, although I am certain a few others close to us just figured it out on their own. She was telling me about a lady friend’s behavior, which sounded very irresponsible, and disrespectful of her boyfriend. I told her — If my wife did any thing like that, I would punish her. She would never get away with that. My friend was surprised, and asked me how I punished my wife. I told her. When my wife misbehaves, I take off my belt and I strap her bottom. Then she learns her lesson. My friend said — Wow, you are cruel. I said — No, it’s not cruel. It’s a punishment and she knows she earned it. It works, and it helps keep her in line. We are happy together and we love each other. She just knows that she gets punished. I think it would help a lot of other marriages out there be peaceful, and happy too.

Then we went on to talk about other things. That is how normal I believe wife spanking out to be, normal enough that it’s worth talking about, at least in the right setting and right conversation. That’s something I would tell only a few people, but in the future, if the culture changes regarding spanking, we may be able to be more open. My friend still knows. If she tries to ruin my future presidential campaign, so be it. So far she has been a better friend than that.

One reason those in marital discipline may want to speak about their practice is to help other couples benefit from the same. Almost anyone can think of a married couple in which the wife definitely needs firm guidance, and could benefit from being spanked soundly over her husband’s knee. It is easy for me to think of a few off the top of my head — especially those couples I know in which the wife clearly makes life miserable for the husband, and has little respect. Naturally, many of us would want to sit down with them, especially the husband, and introduce the tools that will help him lead the household, and turn his wife’s behavior around. We want their marriage to work better, and spanking will help them.

Talking about your life with others is good, at the minimum, to be out in the open about things. It’s always fulfilling to be able to speak your mind and heart, even if you don’t really need help with anything. It creates more comfort about it, and makes you feel less alone. At least the women know there are others who go through the same struggles. You can exchange stories, give each other tips, tell jokes, and just let your guard down. We are not built to have our guard up all the time. We should let it down.

For these reasons I believe it is good and healthy to find friends to share this part of your life with. Just be prepared that there is no perfect method of privacy. They could be a bad friend, or they could just let slip accidentally. I believe it is worth the risk for the right companions. The discipline community is larger than you’d think, but online you will only find a small portion of them. A close friend of family member you can trust is also a good option, if there is brotherly love between you. They are more likely to be there as well, present in your life, and physically close. Spanking may be private by its intimate nature, but it should not be a dark secret.