Once you have decided to correct your wife with spanking, your next step is to put this into practice in the home. Some of this may amount to establishing clear leadership and rules in the home, if you have not done that already. For others, it my simply amount to starting to enforce the rules you have already established and finally cracking down on disrespect. I believe the best time to begin discipline is when the married couple move in together, but many couples bring discipline and spanking in after they have been married for years. There is an adjustment period. There is learning to do, and mistakes you will surely make. Yet it is not hard to do, and much is discovered by common sense.
For husbands who have not established much leadership before, this is the time to do it. You should be setting some standards for the home, and for your wife specifically. These may include standards of speech or standards of dress. My wife has no problem with either of these. She has always had clean and respectful speech, and she respects the standards of modest clothing I set for the home. the only time I have spanked her for ignoring this standard were a few times regarding the children, and it was after she had ignored what I’d told her several times. Other wives will have problems with these, but you are there to help them with that. I also advise setting standards of punctuality, which is also common among discipline households. It may vary, and I am not extremely strict, but I do not allow being more than a few minutes late without a call of a very good reason.
You also want to make sure that you have work for your wife to do in the home, some of which she surely needs to do anyway. I regularly have my wife take care of responsibilities with the children, and also pick up things for the household. I have her assist me on a variety of projects, including personal ministry, finances, and calls I am unable to make when I am at work. A wife is a wonderful helper, so it’s not hard to imagine ways that she can help you in any projects, work in which she will be under your oversight. You will be giving her instructions and guidance of all kinds as your helper, and this will help mold her to your will.
Recognize too that you will need to command her at times. I don’t mean that in a harsh sense, but only in the sense that command gives an authoritative instruction and the receiver needs to do it. It is normal throughout the day. Commands require obedience, and this is an area for your wife to follow you, and show her submission in a clear and immediate way. Much conflict comes to homes simply because women don’t understand their husband’s position above them, and buck against his commands. They even revolt against his simple instructions and advise. Your wife will need to learn to receive commands softly, and with simple obedience. You help her by giving her commands to follow.
Naturally, what I list her for you, and other rules you may have, are simply what a husband should be doing regardless of whether he spanks his beloved wife. They reflect elements of his regular leadership, intelligent rules and standards, and command that he uses. They are not unique to domestic discipline. As a husband who is beginning to use discipline, the difference here is that you will enforce it sometimes through a spanking, and punish broken rules, disrespect, disobedience, or other transgressions.
It can be subjective as to what is serious enough to warrant a spanking. I believe it is best to keep spankings for the more serious errors and sins, such as direct disobedience, disrespectful language, dangerous behavior. I don’t spank for small errors or forgetfulness, but if it is a repeated or serious error, I will spank her for it. When my wife thinks she can put off what I have told her many times and not do it, she ends up thoroughly and firmly spanked, and then she does it immediately. Make sure to take note of serious infractions, and be consistent in disciplining your wife for them — she gets a clear verbal correction of her behavior and a sound spanking.
You can deal with smaller problems with gentle verbal correction, or a more formal verbal correction, depending on what you find best. As I cannot emphasize enough, spankings make verbal correction, even gentle ones, more effective. They allow any warnings you give her about her behavior to be more effective as well. She learns through getting her bottom strapped that your words have weight, and any warnings you give her are warnings of real, undesirable punishment she wants to avoid. You have the full array of correction to work with. You don’t need to rely only on one.
I have found it effective to have a regular examination of her behavior and responsibilities from time to time. This is a session in which she can express if she has taken care of all her work throughout the week, or if there is anything she has not done. She can also take note of how her attitude has been, and if there is anything she needs to correct in her behavior toward you. It is not a punishment session, but it does emphasize her submission and the importance of her work for you. When I use them, I similarly have her kneeling before me and undressed just as I do for her spankings. She will call me sir, just as during discipline. I will end with loving encouragement and any extra instructions for her.
Remember, you are not looking for a reason to spank your wife. You are not making a list of rules for the sake of having rules — you are taking the reigns of leadership that you regularly need to take anyway, and you are also enforcing them, for your wife’s good and the good of the home. The whole purpose is to make the home and marriage godly, and to lead your wife in her goodness and virtue. It’s not simply to have rules. Those rules should nourish and sustain the household because they are good. They express your spiritual leadership and protection.
Many wives, if they are new to submission, will find that the early period is tough, and the adjustments take time. I know my wife had to accept a number of spankings early on for lateness, among other things. On the few occasions that she rose up in voice and was openly disrespectful, she learned over my knee that that is completely out of bounds, and not tolerated. There are wives that will certainly have trouble with being submissive to begin with, and will have to be discipline, instructed, and trained better over time. It can be done and it works. Women who have learned bad language from their upbringing or culture also may find the early period of discipline very tough, with spankings frequent. You can deal with a bad mouth with sound spanking, or soaping the mouth, which many would say is even worse than a spanking. You may have to bring her out of laziness or other bad habits in that first year or so too. She needs consistent discipline, along with instruction and encouragement.
Some husbands may find that using spanking as training will help their wives adjust, both to accepting leadership, and being given corporal punishment. These are spankings given only to teach the wife her submission and keep her general attitude in check. They are not for a specific offense. Within domestic discipline, many couples use training spankings, while many are against them. I advise that if there is a need, try them. Regardless if there is an infraction, a spanking can help a woman submit, and learn her man’s strength in a clear and strong way. For a new wife, or one who is having trouble with behavior for a time, many couples would say that training spankings help. They keep her focused on her husband, and what she needs to do.
Be willing to go through these learning periods early on. Be willing to find it difficult. You are training a woman and refining her for her own good, and the rewards truly are incredible. Woman cleansed of pride, rebellion, or filth is a joy to admire. You will look upon your work with her and be delighted. She has grown of her own right in the Lord, but you have been the one guiding her, feeding her soul, correcting her. You should want to gaze upon a mature, faithful, beautiful daughter of God.
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