I was motivated to write this simply as an invitation to our readers, present and future, to advertise for a spouse if they are single. I’ve had a number of readers ask me about finding a mate, and several specifically asked about finding one here at Spank Your Wife. While singles may put their contacts in the comment section of ANY article, perhaps this one will draw more since that is its purpose. I sympathize with those who desire spanking in their future marriage, and who find it hard to bring up the topic. There is also natural embarrassment in some to let others know they want to practice discipline. For that reason, it seems convenient to look for a place just for singles who want to spank. Look for the like-minded, right?
In general, as I’ve written before, I believe the traditional approach is better; look for a man or woman who is godly and believes in traditional gender roles. Look for someone convinced on headship and submission, who’s prepared to live that way. Be sure they are at least a good candidate. Then find a convenient time to bring up the topic of discipline. I’ve written several essays on how it can best be brought up. I believe this approach works best, because it focuses on finding a godly mate, and places those things most important at the head. It’s what I did in finding my wife, and it worked for me.
I also found this true before I was married. Of the women I knew who agreed to be spanked, or who yearned for it themselves, not one did I connect with through an advertisement. It was an activity one of us brought up after we met in a different fashion. It does take some courage to do, but it’s not an unrealistic task. The culture may look down on wife spanking, but many men and women learn in their hearts it is natural to do, and is fulfilling in it own way. The male and female natures God gave them leans that way to begin with; the man desiring to show his strength and command, and a woman feeling great excitement at responding with femininity, and being firmly in his grasp. That programming in us does not change with culture. It’s there in every man and woman you meet, minus a very rare genetic anomaly. You’re also likely not the only soul who’s read about spanking online, or been at least curious about it. You’ll find there’s a good chance it’s not a shock when you bring it up to a prospective partner. They haven’t been living on Mars or Pluto, you know. A few may have practiced it before.
Advertising for a spanking marriage has certain disadvantages. Firstly, it puts the cart before the horse. It makes one facet of a marriage the thing you are looking for, rather than the major components. Spanking is only a tool to be used in aiding marital headship and submission, and in healing discord back into harmony. It facilitates the bigger things in marriage, but it’s NOT the bigger things in marriage. It’s just an aid. Moreover, advertising for a spanking partner puts enough of a focus on what others find shady, that it attracts more shady customers. One has to be careful always in finding a mate, but when spanking is in the forefront, there is more danger of the nutters and the sadists coming out for a bite. You have to be very discerning, and will need to filter out some people, probably sooner than later.
If you do make spanking your advertising point, I still recommend spending much more time and discussion on the basics: The responsibilities of man and wife. How we treat each other. The lifelong nature of the bond. The need for children and for training them. The fact that intimacy is shared freely and without refusal. The honor it is to witness to the Savior through marriage, and how to have a home life which represents the Lord Jesus. Let the learning process proceed as normal, even if the invitation to meet was from a spanking ad. Rest on what a marriage is, and recognize spanking is only one tool, and not even the only one in providing discipline. Make sure you are filled with both joy and purpose in marriage, and are as passionate about what marriage accomplishes as you are about over-the-knee time. Marriage is a responsibility, and provides us our future. It is not a game.
With that thought in mind, feel free to advertise below if you are single and would like a spouse who will use or accept discipline. If you are not, you can still comment on the process, and offer advice. Perhaps you met your spouse this way. If I had the option, I’d have a page just for finding a mate, but I don’t have the time or funds to put one together. I have seen men and women grow from absorbing this website, and I would be equally honored if men and women came together in marriage through it. I want to bless people and bless marriages. That makes my efforts worthwhile.
Peace to you.
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