The lovely playing field of Wife Spanking cannot easily be defined. I have my own personal borders for my discipline manual here, but in practice it can include even more practices than I describe, use, or show appreciation for. The wide array of methods in wife spanking is something to be aware of if you are curious and researching the subject. Anyone meeting other spankers in online discussion groups should also know that the borders are not so easily set. We may develop our own basic definition for marital discipline, but we still find it borders on other territories, such as bdsm, which share common characteristics and practices.
My purpose in writing about variety is for the new learners, and the curious. Don’t be afraid of what you see online, or expect your experience to be exactly the same. As you learn and develop spanking in your marriage, you will find you fall into some, but not all, of what others do. You will work out decisions based on what the husband finds best, and how he finds it works for his wife in her growth and positive responses. He may try some things earlier on, that he changes later. He will adapt to changing circumstances. Even in a single marriage, over time, there is variety in wife spanking, certainly among an entire community of backside barers there will be even more.
One of the strongest fears among women, who are on the receiving end of discipline, is that if their husband takes up spanking them, it will be a totalitarian affair, or that it will venture into extremes of pain. What exactly am I getting into is a natural question to ask. It is normal to have some fears. A wife should know that her husband is serious and self-controlled in learning to discipline her, and more or less what the regimen will be. She should understand that the point is correction, and training, and not to punish every possible flaw, or to maximize pain. She is accepting leadership and discipline from a disciplinarian, and not a madman.
It is not hard to find where the points of variety lay in researching spanking marriages. In many marriages, the spankings are mild, or mostly made up of hand spankings. In others, a spanking is always expected to hurt, and will always leave marks. Instruments such as the belt or the paddle are the norm. I’d say that represents the majority of households from the reading I’ve done and the persons I’ve known. Yet some husbands take matters to more extreme punishments, venturing into methods more common to bdsm, or torture chambers. I don’t approve of that arena, but those who live that way need to make sure it is out in the open in discussing the subject, and a wife should not be unaware of it when she marries.
The amount and enforcement of rules varies greatly. Some husbands really have a long list of rules, and enforce rigidly. It would be easily to be spanked at least weekly in a household like this, even if you behave generally well. When rules enter into the many details of life, it is impossible to avoid frequent spankings. Other husbands have a handful of rules, which correct only the worst kind of behavior, such as disobedience and disrespect. Some husbands give warnings, that will give a wife a chance to correct herself without a spanking. Still other husbands are a bit negligent with enforcement, and wives find they get away with a lot of terrible behavior, and are not always spanked when they deserve it. This can be very disadvantageous, and does not leave a wife feeling led by her man.
The use of “maintenance” spankings to train rather than to punish is also a point of strong disagreement. There are households that use training spankings for many years. Other husbands, including this author, may use them during a problem period, or a learning period, but do not use them in an ongoing way. Yet in many discipline marriages they are never used, and the very idea is opposed. You will not find agreement throughout the community on this, and you should not expect that your husband will use them, unless he has told you he will. Everything you read on line does not happen that way in every home.
You’ll also find that not every house uses those non-spanking punishments you read about. Many are common — such as writing lines or corner time — but they are not necessary from discipline. Nothing says a husband has to use them. Some, like mouth soaping, are far from universal, and while I’ve spanked my wife for many years, I’ve never needed to soap her mouth. Verbal corrections also vary depending on how fluent a husband is with words, and how successful he feels they are. Myself I use formal verbal corrections sometimes, with writing lines, but I don’t rely on them entirely. They are only for minor offenses, or when spanking is unavailable for some reason. The more painful non-spanking spanking of capsaicin cream is even less common, but it is far from rare. It simply becomes a convenient punishment to use, if a silent method is necessary, or at times if the husband will be away. The cream is quite painful, but many households have never heard of it and never use it.
The sexual element of a spanking is also one that cannot be predicted. While a spanking is sexually exciting to most males, not every husband will be intimate with his wife after a spanking. Some husbands will never do so, even though some wives greatly desire it. In many households, sex is practiced after spanking as a matter of habit, but not necessarily in a predictable way. Some couples will make love after a correction. Other require the wife serve her husband sexually afterward to show her appreciation. It’s a spanking, and then she shows she’s a good girl by giving him an excellent blowjob. Some women who expect to find spanking very sexual and exciting, find it entirely less so once they’ve actually experienced a hard one, and are far from desiring sex after their correction. The picture changes immediately.
I believe there are right and wrong things to do in spanking your wife. There are practices that you should exclude. There are things you should always do. Yet right and wrong does not apply to most of what we do. Much is a matter of the husband’s judgment call, or personal preference. Much is simply the man responding to what he sees works or doesn’t work. There is more than a little experimentation, and even though the man leads, the wife may also share her needs regarding correction, and what she feels would work best. There will be surprises. Don’t expect your regimen of correction to fit what you see in my articles, or on other sites. It probably will fall within the range of normal, but it will be different from some of what you see online. I can guarantee that.
Taking on discipline requires a lot of trust. A wife needs to trust her husband to set certain limits for her, to care for her good, and to spank her without going too far. A man has to trust his wife to sincerely seek to submit, and to accept it when she gets in trouble and needs to be corrected. She will not scream or call 911. Her heart is dedicated to being his wife, and she fully accepts his leadership and correction. If we can’t have trust, we will never go very far in discipline, or even in marriage. It is a must have. As the man learns, and the wife learns, you’ll discover that how he chooses to discipline her will become more refined. I believe also more successful. He will learn to instruct her, set good limits, lecture well, and spank her soundly, until tears and a smarting bottom. He doesn’t have to use every method he sees online, but can try those he wishes. Your regimen will not be predictable, and in the end, it is up to him.
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